Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Mamont » Sat Dec 17, 2011 9:08 pm

Wow! This is great!
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Mon Dec 19, 2011 6:56 am

Hey, everyone. I'm sorry, but my retarded computer just got another virus. This will slow the speed at which I get chapters done, but I think I can still get it done. Please bear with me. Once again, I apologize. I will proceed to destroy the damn thing with a sledgehammer.
Can't we all just get along?
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby cynthia325 » Mon Dec 19, 2011 2:50 pm

ah! that sucks about your computer. mine caught something too recently :(

i'm enjoying the story very much!
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:14 pm

Chapter 9: Lights, Camera, Action....lots of action.

Kenny took in the sight within a second. He was in a large, spacious room in the community center. There was no furniture except a lone table with a chair beside it. Of more important note, however, were the six third graders and two fifth graders occupying the room.

Kenny sprang into action. He rushed the closest third grader and with one punch to the chest followed by a swift uppercut, the kid was down. Stan and Token had moved with equal haste, and incapacitated two other third graders.

Three down, five to go....

He turned to face the other assailants. They had recovered from the initial shock and brought their weapons to the ready. The three remaining third graders had NERF guns, and the fifth graders had airsoft pistols. They fired.

The trio of heroes dropped low and avoided the fire. They fired again. Mysterion dodged to the right, but Toolshed stumbled. Tupperware lept in front of him, the pellets and darts bounced harmlessly off his armor. This gave him an idea.

"Get behind me!" he yelled to Mysterion.

Mysterion understood his plan. In single file, Toolshed and Mysterion got behind Tupperware, and together, they advanced closer. Their opponents continued firing, but to no avail. Their weapons could not penetrate the wall of plastic.

They were closing in fast, and as the enemy understood their plan, they took several steps back, but stopped when they hit the wall behind them. They stumbled as their bodies impacted the hard surface.

"Go!" Mysterion yelled.

The heroes rushed forward and attacked. Toolshed and Mysterion took the fifth graders. Rushing forward in unison, they smashed the taller kids' heads against the wall. They both slumped to the floor, unconscious. Tupperware managed to beat one of the third graders into submission, but the other two ran across the room and out the door.

"Easy day." Toolshed said.

"All right. Tupperware, you go look for our guys. Toolshed and I will stay here and make sure no reinforcements arrive."

Tupperware nodded and set out, Leaving Stan and Kenny to stay in the main room alone. Kenny studied the doors around them, especially the large double door on the left. If enemies came to investigate, they could get in easily. His vision happened to pass over the table and chair in the room. He smiled.

"Toolshed, help me move this table."

"Um, ok. What's your plan?"

"Simply this."

They moved the table slowly to the double doors and placed it in front.

"That oughta hold them for a while." Mysterion said.

They weren't a moment too soon, because someone tried to open the door, but couldn't move the table. They heard a voice on the other side of the door.

"You thirdies help me open this door!"

"Why Ron? You're a jerk!" A somewhat weaker voice said.

"Just help me open it for Chrissake!"

The door was slowly being pushed forward, and Toolshed and Mysterion were on their own.

"You ready, Kenny?"

"Always ready, Stan."

The door slammed open.


Kyle calmed himself. This plan would work, wouldn't it? Of course it would. At least, that's what he kept telling himself.

"All right Clyde, go!"

And with that, Clyde started making loud moaning noises.

"Guards! We need help! One of our guys looks really sick"

There was no response.

"Please! Come on, he needs help!"

"You think we were born yesterday, fourthie? We're not stupid enough to fall for that old trick!"

"What trick? He's really sick!"

As if to emphasize his point, Clyde started moaning louder and even started crying a little. Maybe he should go for acting.

"You stupid fourthies stay in there and shut up!"

Clyde continued his charade as if he heard nothing.

The door opened. And two guards entered the room.

"I said shut u-"

He was cut off as he heard a revving. Something was moving across the floor. Then they heard a single exclamation.


Iron Maiden crashed full force into the fifth graders. They didn't even have time to react, they just got pushed up against the wall and collapsed on the floor.

The three prisoners paused for a moment. Clyde was the first to speak.

"I can't believe that worked."

"Hey, you put up a good show! You all right, Timmy?"


"Ok, well, let's roll!"

They all stepped out of the dark room. They were in a hallway, a very narrow one, and the walls were lined with all kinds of cleaning supplies.

We must be in the janitor's closet.

They continued on, but stopped when they heard footsteps. They stopped behind a corner and waited for the other person to appear. Kyle nodded to them. Clyde nodded back.

They lept from behind the corner to face their opponent. It was Tupperware.

"Oh, there you are! They didn't keep you locked up?"

"Not very well, they didn't." Kyle responded.

Token shrugged.

"Whatever. We have to get to the main room. Stan and Kenny are waiting for us."

Then they heard a loud crash from somewhere else in the building.

"We better hurry." Kyle said.

End of chapter 9.
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby cynthia325 » Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:24 pm

So much action, indeed! Colin I am able to picture it all in my head! Very good once again, my friend.
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby John_117 » Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:20 am

Wow, you have good descriptions of everything, a well thought out plotline, and all that other stuff. You'll be surprised by this, but you are a better writer than I am. Nice job!
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Thu Dec 22, 2011 2:09 pm

Thanks for the reviews, guys! Unfortunately, I'm going off for a week long vacation, so this will be the last chapter for a while.

Chapter 10: The Grand Finale?

The door opened with a loud crash. Kenny and Stan dropped into their fighting stances and waited. Out from the door came four third graders, brandishing toy swords, knives, and whatever other melee weapon they had. Two came for Kenny. Kenny dodged a swing from the kid's knife, grabbed his arm and flipped him on the floor.The second kid had adequate time to take a swing at him, but Kenny dodged and kicked low, following the trip with a blow to the stomach, knocking the wind out of the kid. He glanced to his right. Stan had also dispatched his two assailants, who were on the ground crying. They glanced back at the door.

Walking out very slowly was a fifth grader. At least, Kenny thought he was a fifth grader. The kid, Ron, was massive, almost a full foot taller than Kenny. He was wearing a heavy coat with the hood up, a paintball mask, and wearing padded pants that completed the armor. But what caught Kenny's attention was the Indian Fire Hose on his back and that it was pointed directly at them.

Stan glanced at Kenny.

"What the f*ck is with this kid?"

Ron released a torrent of water at them, forcing them to part. Kenny dodged to the right, performing a combat roll as he went. Ron was continuing to fire at Stan, who was running right, trying desperately to dodge the stream of water being directed at him.

Kenny tried to rush Ron on his blind side, but Ron noticed him and immediately hit Kenny flat in the chest with a powerful blast of liquid. Two things happened to Kenny. First, the water stung like a bitch, secondly it shocked him from the sheer cold of it.

Stan glanced back. Thinking fast, he took a wrench from his belt and threw it at Ron. The wrench impacted on the left side of his head. It didn't knock him out, but it did make him pause for a moment.

Kenny knew what to do. But he hesitated for a split second. The last time he did this, they almost got in serious trouble. But, Ron was protected from head to toe, and he had a mask to protect his face.

f*ck it.

Kenny reached into his cloak and pulled out two throwing stars. He had bought them almost a year ago, but they were still in perfect condition. He threw them, one after another, in a span of two seconds. One impacted Ron in the chest, the other hit him in the mask. Ron stumbled backwards, cursing and yelling. Stan and Kenny seized the moment, and rushed forward, grabbing him from both sides and dashing him against the wall. Then they beat him into submission.

At that moment, Token, Clyde, Kyle and Timmy entered the room from the south side. They glanced around the room.

"Did we miss something?" Kyle asked.

"Just another day's work." Kenny replied.

Kenny retrieved his throwing stars from Ron's limp body.

"Well, what now?" Clyde asked.

"Now, we find Professor Chaos." Kenny said.

They all nodded and proceeded through the double doors. The team was finally back together again. And now, nothing would stand in their way. They continued through the pool area, but when they reached the door to the manager's office on the other side, Kenny stopped them.

"Something's not right, guys. There were too few guards, and we haven't seen any since." Kenny said.

"Yeah, I noticed that too." Kyle said. "Butters was supposed to have way more men than this."

"Everyone, be careful. This may be a trap." Kenny said.

Kenny stood in front of the door to the office. He grabbed the handle, then glanced at his team. They all nodded. He kicked the door open, then gasped.

Inside was a bloodied and bruised Professor Chaos, with General Dissaray lying next to him.

End Of Chapter 10
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Fri Jan 06, 2012 2:47 pm

Sorry about the delay folks! Without further ado, here's....

Chapter 11:A Game Of Deception

The mission was over. Coon & Friends had successfully gotten their missing team members back, but many questions remained unanswered. Primarily, why had they found Professor Chaos beaten up in his own lair?

They had taken Butters and Dougie from the community center to their base. Butters was beaten up pretty badly, but Mrs. Cartman had been able to patch him up with some band-aids and ice. Thankfully, he was awake now, and thus, Coon & Friends could proceed to interrogate their top enemy. Which was why Butters was sitting at a desk with a light shining on him.

"So, Butters, are you going to tell us what happened?" Kenny asked.

Professor Chaos was the archenemy of Coon & Friends. They weren't going to play it the nice way with Butters. They had put Dougie upstairs with Token, Clyde, Timmy and Kyle, while Stan and Kenny talked with Professor Chaos.

"W-well, gee whiz, there's not much to tell...."

Stan slammed his fist on the table. Butters jumped, startled.

"We will be the judge of that! Not you, Chaos!!!"

Kenny patted Butters on the shoulder.

"Don't mind Stan, Butters, we're your friends."

The good cop, bad cop routine usually worked better with Cartman, but he was their enemy now, so Stan was trying a hand at it. Hopefully, it would work out well.

Stan turned away to face the wall behind him.

"Tell us everything you know, Chaos." Stan said in a flat voice.

Butters shuddered a little as he recalled the event...

"Professor Chaos, Coon & Friends have beaten our first group of minions" said General Dissaray"

"W-what? Already? Send Ron in!"

"Understood, sir." Ron said as he put his paintball mask on.

"You, you, you and you are with me." Ron said as he pointed at four third graders. Then they set out to defeat the intruders.

Butters turned to face Cartman. They were in the back room of the community center. Their goal had been to rally their troops for a final assault on Coon & Friends. Once they were out of the way, there would be no one to stop them. Cartman had offered his assistance to Professor Chaos a week ago. The Coon had stated his reasons as being that Coon & Friends had cast him out, and he wanted revenge. Butters didn't really trust Eric, but he had proven to be most useful, as he had recruited more people than ever to Chaos' cause, in addition to bringing in some of the fifth graders. Eric was very persuasive like that.

"Eric, do you have any idea of what we should do?"

Cartman put his hands behind his back, and started pacing back and forth.

"Yes, the enemy is on our doorstep, whatever shall we do?"

A sly grin appeared on his face.

"Well, Butters, it seems you have failed."

"W-what?" Butters replied.

Cartman turned to face the rest of those assembled, the outcasts, the nerds, and the despised. Those who he had convinced to join the cause, not Butters.

"My fellow outcasts, as you can see, we have stirred up a hornet's nest and soon, all will be lost. But under whose leadership? Chaos has failed us all, and soon, Coon & Friends will destroy us and our noble goal. Join me, and together, we will take over this town, and make our voices be heard! Who's with me?"

A loud cheer came from the 20 or so assembled kids. After the fiasco at the Professor's lair in the storage shed, many of the minions had abandoned Chaos and gone to play Harry Potter. Only three fifth graders were left. They were the most loyal ones to the cause, but not, Butters now realized, to him, but to Eric.

"Let us leave this place before we are crushed by Coon & Friends. But first, let's give a little parting gift to Chaos..."

The assembled walked towards Butters and Dougie....

"And then they beat you up?" Stan asked.

"Y-yes...." Butters replied.

Kenny signaled Stan to come over.

"What do you think?" Kenny asked.

"I think he's telling the truth. Why else would he be beaten up?"

"Might be a trick."

"If it was a trick, why would he let his own minions beat him? And why wasn't Cartman there?"

"Good point."

They turned to face Butters again, who was fidgeting with his hands.

"Chaos, do you happen to know where they went?" Kenny asked.

"N-no...but they are intent on defeating you..."

"Why did he leave you there? Wouldn't he want you as a prisoner?"

"I-I don't know why he left me...unless...."

Suddenly everything was clear to Kenny.

"Unless you were the bait to real us in."

The basement door opened with a loud bang. Token walked down the stairs.

"Kenny, Stan, you better get up here."

They hurried up the stairs. The rest of their team was in the living room.

"What's going on?" Kenny asked.

"Look outside." Kyle replied.

So Kenny and Stan looked outside.

There, on the front yard, was Cartman and his army.

End of Chapter 11.
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Wed Jan 11, 2012 6:01 pm

Chapter 12: An Issue Of Trust

This is not good.

Kenny did a quick estimate in his head. While the numbers of the enemy had decreased significantly, they still had them outnumbered by more than 3 to 1. Cartman's army now had only about 4 fifth graders and approximately 20 third graders, but this would still be a tough fight for six fourth graders.

He turned to face his team. Despite the impossible odds, they looked determined and showed no outward signs of fear. He smiled. Maybe they would make it. After all, they were Coon & Friends. But, he knew a straight up attack would be suicide. He had to come up with a plan, and fast.

"Thoughts, anyone?" He asked.

Kyle appeared to have a look of serious thought on his face. Then he spoke.

"Why don't we use a "Rabbit"?"

Kenny frowned.

"A rabbit?"

Kyle explained the tactic to the group.

"A risky plan" Token said. "But who would be the rabbit?"

"Who do you think, dumbass? The fastest person here!" Kyle replied.

"And who's that?" Clyde asked.

They turned to Iron Maiden. Timmy couldn't run, but he definitely had a speed and endurance advantage on his wheelchair.

"Timmy," Kenny started, "this will be a risky operation. While it's normally our policy to force things on other people, I feel obliged to give you the option. But if you say no, we'll call you a pussy forever. What's your choice?"

Timmy crossed his arms and stared at them.

"Timmy." He said with a hint of reluctance.

"Thank you, Timmy." Kenny said.

"All right team, are we ready?"

They all nodded and moved toward the back door.


They turned around. Professor Chaos and General Dissaray were there in their costumes.

"Let us come with you." Butters said.

"Chaos, are you crazy? We can't trust you. You're lucky we don't lock you up downstairs again!" Kenny said harshly.

Butters shivered a little at the thought. But he didn't back down for once.

"T-the Coon betrayed us. We just want to pay him back a l-little...."

Kenny thought for a moment. This was completely unlike Butters. But then again, they were role-playing, and Butters was a villain. Revenge made perfect sense. But, he was still a little apprehensive.

"What about after we beat him?" Kenny asked.

Butters knocked his knuckles together before answering.

"W-well, Mysterion, we'll be enemies again. But, I don't want t-to just wait here and do nothing. Do you General Dissaray?"

"Kids, I made some more cookies!" Mrs. Cartman yelled.

"Later." General Dissaray said before heading to the kitchen.

"O-Oh, come on, General....." Butters said weakly.

Butters turned to face Coon & Friends again.

"You certainly inspire loyalty, Butters." Stan said with a touch of sarcasm.

"Aw geez....can I just play with you guys?" Butters asked.

Kenny let out a long sigh then put his palm over his face.

"All right, whatever. But if you backstab us on this mission, we're locking you up, got it?"


"All right Coon & Friends.....and Chaos....move out!" Kenny yelled.

With that, they silently shuffled out the back door.

End of Chapter 12.
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:25 pm

Chapter 13: Loyalty

"Attention Coon & Friends! Surrender now and we won't hurt you....much." Cartman yelled through a megaphone.

Tom stood with his air soft rifle in the shoulder firing position. The rifle was a little bit dirty after his and Mark's encounter with Mysterion. They had woken up in the same ally with large bumps on their heads and pounding headaches. He made sure he would never underestimate that little fourthie again.

He's pretty f*cking strong for a fourthie.

Of the original ten or so fifth graders, the only ones left now were himself, Ron, Mark and two others. Honestly, Tom no longer cared about their efforts to let the outcasts be heard or some other stupid sh*t like that. All he wanted now was to get revenge on Mysterion for making a fool of him, twice! And when they stepped out the door, the superhero team would meet their end at his hands. He was personally gonna make sure that Mysterion wouldn't walk for several weeks.

Since there were three fifth graders left, and 20 or so third graders, Tom, Mark and Ron each got control of their own unit of about seven thirdies. He glanced at Mark and his squad. Mark had been his close friend for several years. They were both fairly average fifth graders, except that they were both fans of all things related to science. They were labeled as "Nerds" by their peers, and consequently were excluded from most groups, even the "Nerd" group, because they weren't "Nerdy" enough. That was probably due to the fact that they did not wear glasses. Since no one else would accept them, they had decided to join up with Professor Chaos, even though he was a fourthie.

Ron, on the other hand, was quite different. He was very quiet, even on the playground, and he usually liked to go off and do his own thing. As far as Tom could tell, Ron had had no friends prior to joining up with Chaos. Until Mark and himself were put together on a watch duty. During that time, they engaged in some trivial conversation with Ron, and discovered that he lived in a broken household, and was usually left on his own at home. Since then, the trio had gotten close and even now, refused to leave the burning wreckage of the "Chaosmobile".

"One more time, assh*les! Give up, and we won't seriously maim you!"

Tom sighed quietly. He did not trust the Coon one bit. The Coon had joined up about a week ago, and since then, convinced more and more kids to join Chaos' army. The Coon was very persuasive and manipulative, if his reputation was true. Mark, Ron and himself decided to join a few days before The Coon did, and he had done some good work since then, but overall, he trusted Chaos more than The Coon. He was shocked to discover on his return that The Coon had gotten the two other fifth graders to beat up Chaos and leave him to be captured. That was why on this mission, Tom and his friends had decided to get Chaos back and kick The Coon and his minions out of their group.

They couldn't make a move yet though, because they were outnumbered. There were two groups, those who joined because of Chaos, and those who joined because of The Coon. As far as he could tell, there were only five third graders left who had joined before The Coon, so that left eight to fight for Chaos, while the rest were loyal to The Coon. They would have to make their move in the upcoming fight.


Tom turned to his right. There was one of the "heroes", Iron Maiden to be precise. He was indestructible, or so he had been told.

"Ah, Timmy. You will fight us on your own to save your friends?" The Coon said, with a hint of smugness.

"Timmah!!!" then he turned around and moved his chair forward at top speed.

"Get back here, assh*le! Tom, you and your squad take care of him!" The Coon yelled.

As much as he hated taking orders from The Coon, Tom swallowed his pride.

"Understood! Move out, double time!"

He and his squad gave chase at a fast pace. The thirdies would not be able to keep up with him, so he slowed slightly so they would not get separated. But Iron Maiden was still gaining ground, and fast.

"Faster!" He yelled.

They upped the pace a little and started gaining some ground on him. Then he turned to his right and headed toward a small grove of pine trees.

Where is he going? This is just like...

"Company halt!" he yelled.

The third graders stopped and started panting heavily. Then one of them spoke.

"Why are we stopping, Tom?"

"Something doesn't feel right. Everyone get behind me and stay close."

They moved forward cautiously with their weapons at the ready. Iron Maiden vanished into the grove.

"Stay close, we're going in." Tom said softly, but loudly enough so they could hear.

They inched closer to the trees and stopped at the edge.

"You and you, stay here. If you hear anything, report back to The Coon." The third graders nodded and stood silently.

Tom raised his right hand and moved his fingers forward twice. With that silent command, they entered the grove.

Tom knew this was a trap. It was how Mysterion beat him and Mark earlier that night. But, if he was careful and persuasive, he could convince Coon & Friends of his plan to take out The Coon, and he could get Chaos and Dissaray back. Plus, once they did, it would be a good opportunity to get back at Mysterion.

From behind him, one of the Thirdies coughed. Two were muttering something. Normally, he would tell them to be quiet, but this was a trap he wanted to spring, so he said nothing.

Then, he heard the noise he was waiting for. A muffled yell followed by the slithering sound of someone being dragged. The rest of the third graders turned around, but Tom did not. He heard the same noise again, then again and again, until he knew he was the only one left.

"All right, you got us, Coon & Friends. I'm all alone now, so face me like men. Or are you afraid?" Tom said to no one.

He heard a crunch behind him, like a boot stepping on snow. He did not turn around.

"You knew." said a voice.

A cloaked figure dropped from a tree top and faced Tom. Mysterion.

"You knew of our trap, and you didn't stop. Why?"

Tom lowered his rifle and ran a hand through his thick brown hair.

"Because, I think we can help each other, Mysterion." Tom said.

Mysterion's face remained neutral.

"You must think I'm stupid, Tom." Mysterion said.

A small smile spread across Tom's face.

"So, you remember me. Well, I certainly remember you, Mysterion. As do Mark and Ron. Rest assured, we want to see your team gone, Mysterion, but we have a bigger concern right now that I think we both share."

Mysterion raised an eyebrow.

"And what's that?"

"The Coon, who else?"

"I thought you were all loyal to him."

Tom let out a slight chuckle.

"Hell no, Mysterion. Most of us are, but some aren't. We want our leader back and that lard ass gone."

Mysterion's eyes narrowed, as if he were studying Tom intensely.

"So you're loyal to Chaos?"

"That is correct. I know you have him, Mysterion. I wish to negotiate for his safe return."

Mysterion turned to his right and nodded back with his head. From behind some bushes came the rest of Coon & Friends. With them was Chaos. Unbound and with a bandage across his head.

"Chaos, are you all right?" Tom asked.

"Y-yes, Tom." Chaos replied.

Tom turned to face Mysterion again, with a questioning look on his face.

"Chaos also wants to see The Coon gone, Tom. It seems we do share a common goal. Now, what do you offer in exchange for Chaos?"

"Myself and my two friends" Tom said. "We will help you defeat The Coon in the upcoming battle, and in exchange, you will release Chaos and Dissaray."

Mysterion turned to face The Human Kite. They muttered softly to each other. Human Kite shook his head and said something. Then Mysterion nodded.

"That will take care of the immediate threat, but in the long run, Coon & Friends will suffer. Do you have anything else to offer?"

Tom thought for a moment. Then he looked up to face his enemy.

"Yes, I do. Intel. Valuable intel that not even Chaos is aware of right now." Tom said.

"Oh? And what would that be?" Mysterion asked.

Tom cleared his throat.

"Well, as you all know, The Coon is a manipulative creature. He knows all the in's and out's of how to gain a person's loyalty. But he is also a cunning beast. He can lay the perfect trap and get even the smartest of people to walk into it."

"What are you trying to say, Tom?" Mysterion asked.

"Simply this. The enemy force you see is not all of it. Hidden behind the hills lies the rest of The Coon's army."

"What, more fifth graders?" Toolshed asked.

"Worse. You think you're the only people who can photoshop porn?" Tom asked.

Mysterion's face whitened.

"Then that means...."

"Yes, Mysterion. The Coon has won the loyalty of the Sixth Graders."

End of Chapter Thirteen.
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby cynthia325 » Thu Jan 19, 2012 3:03 pm

Cartman actually got the 6th graders to side with him? Hoyl cow! I can't wait to see the next installment!
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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Tue Jan 24, 2012 3:53 pm

Chapter 14: Shut up and get to the action!

They were all silent for a moment, not sure what to think. If what Tom said was true, then they had little chance of victory.

"Kyle?" Kenny asked.

Kyle shook his head ever so slightly.

"I'm not sure...we gave them what they wanted, and in exchange they said they would help us.....I guess Cartman just used the same trick as we did. Honestly, it's not that hard to get their help, really."

Kenny nodded. That was very true. For all their bravado and physical strength, the sixth graders had one weakness: pornography.

"So, any ideas on what we should do, team?" Kenny asked.

For a moment, there was no answer. Then Butters spoke.

"W-Well, Tom, you say some of the enemy is still loyal to me and n-not Eric, who are they exactly?"

"Myself, Mark, Ron, and a few third graders." Tom replied.

"M-Mark and Ron are still with us? Yippee!" Butters replied enthusiastically.

Stan thought for a moment.

"Ron was the kid with the Indian Hose, right?"

"Yeah, that's him." Tom said without a moment's hesitation.

Stan's eyes brightened.

"So then, he could use that on the sixth graders?" Stan inquired, with a hint of excitement.

Tom scratched his head.

"Well yeah, but I don't see how that will help...." Tom replied.

Kyle perked up, suddenly understanding Stan's plan.

"I see how it would. The sixth graders have another weakness besides porno." Kyle said.

A smile crept on Kenny's face. He understood.

"Great idea, Stan. So does everyone understand?"

Butters spoke up.

"Y-yeah! Ron'll take that hose of his and, and beat those nasty sixth graders like my Uncle Bud beats me!"

Stan put his thumb and index finger in a tight pinch on his nose.

"God damn it Butters...." Then he perked up as he caught the second part. "Wait, what?"

"Well anyway, I think I have a plan" said Kyle, "And we'll need your help to do it, Tom. You ready to see The Coon go down?"

Tom cracked his neck.

"You bet I am!"

"All right! So, this is what we're going to do...."

End of Chapter 14

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Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Ex1lepr0 » Tue Jan 31, 2012 3:27 pm

Chapter 15:Prisoner Exchange

Fifteen minutes later, they were heading towards Cartman's troops, with their "prisoners" in tow.

Kyle sighed deeply. This was a risky plan, but based on past example, it should work. He was fairly certain of Tom's sincerity, but they wouldn't know for certain until they started unraveling their plan. But, what if they sent Tom back over, and it was just a ruse to draw them out? What if Cartman called in the sixth graders immediately? What if...

God, am I turning into Tweek?

He took a deep breath to calm himself down. It would work.

At last, they arrived at their destination. There was no turning back now.

"Coon, you fat piece of sh*t! You're looking for us? Here we are!" Mysterion yelled.

Cartman turned his head quickly to face them, a look of anger on his face.

"Ai! I am NOT fat!.....*ahem* you finally decided to come out of hiding, did you, Coooon and Friends. Were you too afraid to fight us?"

Mysterion showed no response to the insult.

"No, just thought we'd come out before you fall off that box and crush the poor earth with your fat ass!"

Even from a distance, Kyle could see the fire in Cartman's eyes.

"Shut up, Kenny, you poor piece of crap!"

"At least I'm not poor AND fat!"

Cartman was absolutely livid. If he had not already killed them, Kyle would've guessed that he'd go home to cry to his toys.

"Don't push me Kinny! You know I can crush you at any point!"

"Ah, that you can, Cartman." Kenny said with a note of condescension. "But if you attack us, we'll have no choice but to harm the prisoners!"

Mysterion tilted his head slightly forward. Token and Mosquito came forward, with Butters and Tom in front of them.

Cartman showed no signs of caring in the slightest.

"And, why should I care?" Cartman replied.

"You dumbass, Cartman." Stan yelled. "They're your troops, so now we get to make demands!"

Cartman's brows furrowed.

"Yeah, I guess you're right....what do you want?"

Kenny spoke next.

"A prisoner exchange. We'll give you these two, and you send over those two fifth graders." Pointing to the two nearest to Cartman, leaving Ron and Mark with their squads.

"Why would I do that?" Cartman asked.

"Because if you don't, lard-tits, we'll hurt the captives! Don't you watch the news?" Kyle said.

"God, dammit! All right, you win. You two go over."

Kenny turned to face Butters and Tom.

"All right, it worked. Go on over."

And with that, the prisoner exchange began.

End of Chapter 15.
Can't we all just get along?
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Apr 07, 2012 3:37 am

Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby inuyasha12365 » Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:26 am

Keep it up Ex1 From:Inuyasha12365 8)
Posts: 3280
Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 5:32 am

Re: Coon & Friends vs. Professor Chaos

Postby Zazaban » Sun Jun 17, 2012 2:57 pm

Wow! This... looks... awesome! I've pasted it all to file and I'm going to print it out to read it, because it deserves more attention than I can give on a computer screen. :D
skurtz wrote:
nwt000 wrote:Get your trolling ass out of here!

I'm more friendlier drinking some espresso.

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