First Blood First Serve 3 Chapter 2

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Nick Assburger
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Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:33 am

First Blood First Serve 3 Chapter 2

Postby Nick Assburger » Fri Sep 19, 2014 4:54 am

[Return from Commercial break.]

[Later that day the bus drops the boys off at the bus stop.]

Stan: "Man that sucks that we have to write a report on M*A*S*H."

Kyle: "Yeah I don't understand what that has to do with the Korean War."

Butters: "Hey Conner do you know anything about the Korean war? I bet you do cause your like all smart and stuff when it comes to war huh?"

Conner: "Well yeah I guess I mean my Grandfather Donner Kurtz fought in Korea with the 1st Marines. I just don't get why we have to write about M*A*S*H for our report on Korea. Doesn't Mr Garrison have any better sources?"

Stan: "He always has us do this sort of thing."

Conner: "Doesn't he ever actually teach us anything important like maybe what actually happened during the Korean War instead of showing us reruns of a Tv show?"

Cartman: "Who cares as long as it gets us out of reading about it."

[The boys come up to Kyle's house and go on inside to find Gerald sitting down watching tv.]

Kyle: "Hi Dad"

Gerald: "Hey Kyle how was school today? Who's your new friend?"

Kyle: "Uh... Dad this is Conner."

Gerald: "Oh boy I'm just glad you got home before your Mother did."

Conner: "Look if it's a problem I can just go home now."

Gerald: "That won't be necessary Conner I'll explain everything to Sheila when she gets home."

Conner: "Thanks Mr Broflovski and thanks again for defending me in court

Gerald: "You saved my son's life Conner it was the least I could do."

[The boys head upstairs to Kyle's room and get busy studying]

Conner: "So despite MacArthur's assurances that there was little chance of Chinese intervention in the war the People's Volunteer Army attacked UN forces at the Sino Korean Border on the 25th of October. After defeating the ROK 2nd corps at the battle of Onjong the first confrontation between Chinese and American forces occurred on November 1st 1950. The PVA encircled the US 8th Calvary from the North, Northwest and West and overran US positions forcing the 8th Calvary to retreat to the Ch'ongch'on river valley the Chinese withdrew following their decisive victory."

Kyle: "Ch'ongch'ong river got it."

Cartman: "Heh heh Cho'ngch'ong"

[The boys hear arguing from downstairs]

Stan: "Hey what's that?"

[They gather at the door to eavesdrop]

Sheila: "Absolutely not Gerald it's not up for discussion I do not want Kyle hanging around that boy I think he's a bad influence."

Gerald: "Sheila he's been through months of intensive therapy the doctor's say he's fully capable of being a part of society."

Cartman: "Oh boy sounds like Super Bitch is at it again duck and cover people."

Sheila: "He put our son right in the line of fire got him buried alive in a mine and destroyed most of main street! Does that sound like someone who's capable of being a part of society?"

[Conner looks down sullen and heart broken.]

Conner: [depressed] "You guys I'm think I'm gonna go home."

[He walks over and packs up his backpack]

Kyle: "Conner please you don't have to do this I'll talk to her I promise we can work all this out."

Conner: "No it's okay Kyle It's not your fault It's just best I don't get you into trouble with your parents.

[He puts on his backpack and opens Kyle's window.]

Kyle: [guilt] "Well alright see tomorrow at school I guess"

Conner: "Good bye guys."

[He climbs out the window and drops down into a roll in the front yard before brushing the snow off and walking home.]

Cartman: "Way to go Kyle thanks to your fat f*cking mom sticking her big joo nose into things we're out our only study partner who knows anything about the Korean war!"

Kyle: "It's not right"

Stan: "What?"

Kyle: "Conner doesn't deserve this kind of treatment."

Cartman: "Hello Kyle I'm ripping on your mom for being a big fat bitch!"

Kyle: "He's lost his family been forced to live in the wilderness by himself, hunted like a criminal and just when he gets a second chance people treat him like he's some mentally unstable time bomb."

Cartman: "Kyle your mom is a big nosed jersey kike."

Kyle: [uninterested] "And your mom's a crack whore Cartman shut up! I just wish there was someway we could convince people that he's not a threat he's just misunderstood."

Stan: "You mean like raise awareness because I'm not making another video."

Kyle: "I was gonna ask you not to do that this time thanks."

Stan: "The third time you jack it in the street you get a free extra night at the Hotel Coronado...I'm gonna shut up now."

Sheila: [Calls them from downstairs] "Boys I want to talk to you downstairs right now."

[The boys sit on the couch]

Sheila: "Now I boys the reason I don't you hanging out with Conner is because he's dangerous."

Kyle: "But Mom he saved our lives in that collapsed mine."

Sheila: "He was the reason you got trapped down there in the first place! I thought I was never gonna see you alive again Kyle!"

Gerald: "Sheila I really think you stop and think about this moment."

Sheila: "Don't interrupt me Gerald, As I was saying the reason I don't want you hanging out with him is because Conner has PTSD he might not want to hurt you but he can't control when his episodes start or end. Do you understand?"

Kyle: "Mom I think your overreacting just a little...."


Kyle: "No Mom you don't understand Conner isn't some mentally unstable time bomb he's just a kid who went things no kid should have to."




[Kyle gets up and walks away in disgust.]

Butters: "I-I better be getting home before I get grounded."

[Butters gets down and leaves]


[Elsewhere Conner walks down the street dejected.]

Conner: "Everywhere I go people just look at me as some kind of sociopathic monster. Kids spread rumors about me adults look at me with disgust. Is this what I'm destined to be? an outcast a pariah!"

[He looks down at his dog tags and holds them up]

"I sure wish you were here right now Ben even if you are just some split personality I made in my head."

[As he passes by the bench a Red headed boy with glasses wearing a Canadian flag stands up and walks over to him.]

Boy: "Private Conner Kurtz?"

Conner: [Looks over at him] "I think you have me confused with someone else my name is Conner Kerns." [He looks at his dog tags and tucks them into his shirt.]

Boy: "No It's definitely you, you've grown your hair out and changed your name but it's no use denying who you are Kurtz."

Conner: "Alright suppose I am this Private Kurtz your talking about what then?"

Boy: "My associates have a proposition for someone of your skills."

Conner: "And what kind of skills would those be?"

Boy: "Being a smart ass for one."

Conner: "And what if I said no?"

[The boy answers his question by drawing a handgun from his back pocket.]

Boy: "It would be wise for you to cooperate Kurtz."

Conner: "You shouldn't be running around sticking that in people's faces you could shoot an eye out."

Boy: "The Colonel said you had a sense of humor Kurtz err Kerns or whatever the f*ck you call yourself now."

Conner: "And just what do I call you?"

Boy: "For now just call me Grant."

Conner: "Alright Just Grant."

Grant: "Shut the f*ck up! I did not set you up for that joke!"

Conner: "Alright can't a kid at gunpoint crack a joke or two."

Grant: "Enough ass dragging move!"

Conner: "What's the magic word?"

Grant: "f*ck You!"

Conner: "Meh close enough."

[Grant leads Conner across the tracks near Kenny's house and into the Lost Woods.]

Conner: [Looks at the maple leaf on Grant's shirt.] "Forgive me if I sound rude but you don't exactly look Canadian to me."

Grant: [Sarcastically] "Oh sorry guy let me do something aboot that!" [He lifts his leg and lets out a tiny fart] "Is that better Buddeh!"

Conner: "Sorry not trying to make any waves or nothing by the way what was the Lions Redback's final score last week?"

Grant: "7-5 Damn it stop distracting me! I am not some flop headed fart loving stereotype!"

Conner: "But you do fart I mean you just did right?"

Grant: [growls] "If I didn't have orders to bring you here alive I'd kill you right here right now."

Conner: "Sure you would."

[Grant Leads Conner to a dead end clearing in the forest]

Conner: "So this is it? Not very much of a base."

[Grant draws a tranquilizer gun and shoots him in the neck]

Conner: "Ginger bastard." [Loses consciousness.]
[Meanwhile after Sheila had Stan and the others sent home Stan goes back to his house.]

Sharon: "Stan your uncle Jimbo called he's been wondering where Conner is."

Stan: "He left Kyle's house after he heard Kyle's mom talking about him you mean he's not home already?"

Sharon: "I suppose not."

[Stan takes out his phone and calls Jimbo.]

Jimbo: "Hey Stanley I called your house earlier to ask if you've seen Conner he was supposed to be home an hour ago I tried calling his phone but he's not picking up."

Stan: "The last I saw he said was going home I haven't seen him since."

Jimbo: "Oh dear this is serious don't you worry Stanley you Uncle Jimbo and Ned will find him."

Stan: "Thanks Uncle Jimbo let me know when you do alright?"

Jimbo: "Okay Stanley bye."

Stan: "Bye Uncle Jimbo."

[He hangs up and goes upstairs to his room to call Kyle]

Stan: [Dials Kyle.] "Come on Kyle pick up."

Kyle's voice message: "Hey Dude this is Kyle I can't come to the phone because I'm either busy or my parents have taken my phone away. Please leave a message and I'll call you back as soon as I can. Beep"

Stan: "Damn it Kyle's mom must have taken his phone away looks like this calls for a serious response." [He enters contacts and selects a question mark to call] "Hello yeah it's me listen Conner's missing and no one's been able to get ahold of him. I want you to look around to see if you can find him. You will? Thanks pal your the best well I gotta go later."

[He hangs up]

[Elsewhere Conner comes to to find his face covered with a bag and his wrists bound behind his back and held by two very strong looking boys.]

Grant's voice: "Good your awake I didn't want you to miss this." [He takes the bag off Conner's head.] "OPEN THE GATE!"

[A kid dressed in military fatigues gives the signal to open the gate]

[Conner looks up still drowsy from the tranquilizers to see what looks like a rundown summer camp turned into a makeshift military base if it was built and decorated by kindergardeners. Several children dressed in improvised military fatigues and carrying all manner of weapons from firearms to improvised weapons like homemade swords, shields, etc. A huge crude red flag depicting a white star with a coat of arms depicting a toy box loaded with assault rifles with the words Lost Boys Army written underneath hangs from the center camp stage.]

Grant: "Welcome to paradise Kurtz everything a kid could ever want is right here."

[The kids all gather as Conner is brought into the camp they're dressed in all manner of clothing. Most are dressed in improvised military fatigues others run the gamut from cowboys and indians to pirates, football players to wrestlers, ninjas to knights and wizards. Some of the girls are dressed as amazons others as stupid spoiled whores. The one constant is that they all wear warpaint on their faces. Their ages range from pre schoolers to 6th graders and boys and girls are included in their ranks.]

[The children click their feet and stand at attention as a drum squad pounds out a beat. their eyes boring through Conner as if judging him.]

Conner: "Who are you?"

Grant: "We are the Lost Boys Army like you we have all endured the pain and loss at the hands of adult cruelty."

Conner: "So who's the head honcho around here?"

Grant: "That would be the Colonel these are all his children man as far as the eye can see."

[Conner sees the entire camp the kids numbering to almost two thousand more than several schools worth.]

Grant: "Out there we're all rejects, screw ups, foster kids, orphans, juvenile scum not a single darling little angel in the whole bunch. But in here we are all the Colonel's children man."

Conner: "Would it be possible to see the Colonel."

Grant: "First rule about the Lost Boys Army you don't ask to see the Colonel he's sees you man. But lucky for you he's been wanting to talk to you catch up on old times."

Conner: "Old times? Should I know this guy?"

Grant: "Trust me every kid in the country is the gonna know who the Colonel is by the time we're done."

Conner: "I'm afraid to ask what."

[Conner is lead up the trail to what used to be the counselors office which is now guarded by two 6th graders. One of them bangs a gong while the door opens.]

Grant: "Have faith Kurtz the Colonel will show you the enlightenment you seek."

[The Colonel sits at the far end of the darkened room his figure illuminated only by a flickering flame.]

Colonel: [Softly] "Enter my children."

[Grant leads Conner into the room]

Colonel: "Private First Class Conner Kurtz you have done well my children release his bonds then leave us in peace."

Grant: "Yes Sir." [Grant takes out a knife and cuts the rope binding Conner's wrist. Conner rubs his wrists and flexes his shoulders as Grant.]

Conner: "So you must the Colonel huh?"

Colonel: "You've changed so much Conner since I last saw you."

Conner: "Refresh my memories I don't remember meeting before."

Colonel: "I'm hurt Conner after all went through."

Conner: "Perhaps if you stepped into the light where I could see you better."

Colonel: "But if I did that I wouldn't be as menacing or foreboding."

Conner: "But then I wouldn't be able to remember where I saw you from."

Colonel: "Alright fine have it your way."

[The Colonel steps out of the shadows and into the light. we only see his bare back from behind.]

Conner: [shocked] "It can't be!"

Colonel: "But it is." [He raises his left hand which is revealed to be a hook.]

[Cut to Commercial.]

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