First Blood First Serve 3 Chapter 4

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Nick Assburger
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Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:33 am

First Blood First Serve 3 Chapter 4

Postby Nick Assburger » Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:41 am

[Return from Commercial.]

[Conner wakes up to find himself lying next to Kaitlyn on a picnic blanket. She's wearing a floral dress and sunday hat.]

Kaitlyn: "Wakey wakey sleepy head."

Conner: [Groans] "Where am I?"

Kaitlyn: "You took a little cat nap silly. [She giggles and sits up] Come on I packed this picnic for the two of us and your gonna eat it if I have to feed you like a baby."

Conner: "You say that like you want it to come to that."

Kaitlyn: "Oh you." [She smiles and reaches into her basket and takes out a sandwich] "Hope you like PB and J because I made a lot of it."

Conner: "I suppose you can't go wrong with it."

[He takes the sandwich and prepares to take a bite when suddenly an explosion goes off in the distance.]

Kaityln: "What's going on?" [She grabs hold of Conner's arm for safety.]

Conner: "Kaitlyn find somewhere to hide I'll be right back."

[He leaves her at the picnic site and runs down the hill to see a billows of smoke rising all over South Park. Explosions and the sounds of gunfire rock the area.]

Conner: "OH MY GOD!"

[Conner rushes toward the sounds of Chaos to find the town of South Park under attack. homes and cars lie in ruins and there's flames and dead bodies everywhere He sees Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman running for their lives.]


Conner: "WHAT'S GOING ON?"


Conner: "WHO?"


[A 4th grader wearing a suicide vest charges them]

Kenny: [Muffled] "SUICIDE BOMBER!"

[Kenny tackles the boy to the ground just as he detonates his vest blowing the parka wearing boy to pieces and knocking Conner and the boys out cold.]

Stan: [Shell shocked and Distorted] "OH MY GOD THEY KILLED KENNY!"

Kyle: [Shellshocked and distorted] "YOU BASTARDS!"

[Conner fades in and out as his ears ring from the force of the blast. He tries to get up but he's too shaken to even stand and he feels a shooting pain in his leg. He looks down and sees a shard of shrapnel has pierced his thigh. Then he sees Colonel walk up to him accompanied by a squad of his soldiers]

Colonel: "You disappoint me Kurtz." [He kicks Conner in the head and knocks him out.]

[Conner comes to in the school playground which has been turned into a improvised execution yard. He can feel his hands tied up tight and sees the headless bodies of several of the townspeople lying everywhere. Their heads are placed on spikes or hang from strings on the jungle gym.]

Colonel Hook: "Good your awake I didn't want you to miss this."

[The Colonel's troops fire their guns into the air in victory as Conner is dragged by two 6th graders . He looks around to see many of the adults he knows being executed.

Lu Kim: "No no not the sh*tty frying oil!" [The soldiers dump a bucket of boiling frying oil on his head. The restaurant owner screams in agony and finally chokes out a death rattle.]

Mr Slave: "Oh Jesus! Jesus Christ NO!" [A large stake is shoved up his rectum and placed upright like what Vlad the Impaler used to do. He chokes out blood as the stake slowly rises out of his mouth."

Sheila: [Is strapped to an improvised electric chair on a American flag stage with Gerald "OH SWEET JEHOVAH THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING KYLE PLEASE CLOSE YOUR EYES BUBBE MOMMY LOVES YOU VERY....[She screams as the executioner a kindergardener throws the switch. A Lost Boys Marching Band accompanies her screams with an instrumental of Blame Canada.]

[Conner is finally dragged to a killing field where the boys are being tied to posts to be executed.]

Kyle: "MOM! DAD!" [He closes his eyes trying to fight back the tears]

[Gerald and Shelia stop moving.]

[The guards throw Conner to the ground hard.]

Colonel Hook: "Well well well looks like the gangs all here."


Colonel Hook: "You and you little friends should joined our cause Kurtz, Would have saved yourselves a world of hurt. But now that you've shunned my offer I have you choice but to treat you as enemy personnel."


[Hook turns around and pulls out a Colt Python and shoots Conner in his good leg sending an explosion of pain through his body. He looks down to see exposed bone in his leg.]

Conner: "AARRRRRAAAAAAAAAGH! [Tears run from his eyes]


[Conner winces on the ground in pain]

One Year ago this town brought the world to the brink of armageddon and all over the country our parents came together to push it over the edge. Today is only the beginning of our revolution the Lost Boys Army cannot be stopped not by you or your friends or anyone else.

[He walks over to Stan and points the revolver in his face, the boy in the red poof ball hat is too frightened to speak. Hook squeezes the trigger blowing Stan's brains all over the school yard wall.]

Kyle: [Hysterical] "STAAAAAAAAAAN! *BANG! [Hook Shots Kyle in the head cutting his scream off with a spray of brain matter.]

Cartman: [Hysterical] "OH MY GAWD OH MY GAWD! OH MY GAWD! [He gives way to hysterically sobbing and pants wetting before Hook puts the revolver to his temple and fires blowing open Cartman's head like a meaty watermelon of skull blood flesh sinew and brain matter."


[Against all odds Conner tries to break loose of his bonds but it proves futile as Colonel Hook simply walks over and kicks him in the face.]

Colonel Hook: "It's a shame you were a good warrior Kurtz but you never could take extra step that had to be done." [He tosses his revolver on the ground and picks up Conner by his shirt.]

[Conner looks into the madman's colorless eyes as the gravity of the situation sinks in.] "Goodbye Kurtz." [He places his Hook against Conner's throat and slashes it wide open spraying blood everywhere. Conner falls to the ground as Hook releases him and sees Grant and Kaitlyn standing next to the madman. Grant is smiling with satisfaction while Kaitlyn looks guilt ridden. Conner's eyes widen with shock at seeing her.]

Conner: "" [He chokes to death on his own blood before his eyes open and he springs up in his bed in shock and screams! He feels his throat and is surprised to find it still intact. He takes several fast frantic breathes as cold sweat covers his entire body.]

[Suddenly there's a knock at the door.]

Jimbo: "Conner! Conner is everything alright? Is there an intruder in the house?"

Ned: "Mmm He's not responding Jimbo!"

Jimbo: "Break down the Door" [Jimbo shoots off the door knob and kicks the door in. He sees Conner in a state of shock.] "Conner! CONNER! [He shakes Conner trying to break his trance.] "This doesn't look Ned call an ambulance.!"

Ned: "Mmm Right away."


[Cut to shot of Hell's Pass Hospital exterior the next morning followed by a shot of Conner lying in a hospital bed and wearing a oxygen mask to help him breathe. Jimbo, Ned and Doctor Gouache walk into the room. Jimbo looks worried while Ned is sobbing like a mother worried about her child's safety]

Doctor Gouache: "Your son is doing much better than last night Mr Kerns we had to sedate him so he would fall asleep but his adrenaline levels are returning to normal and his heart rate is back to safer levels. He will have to stay here a few days to recuperate until we can get a proper diagnosis of which caused this episode."

Jimbo: "Thanks Doctor you've been a real help to us."

Ned: [Sniffing] "Hmm Doctor could we have a few minutes alone with our baby boy."

Doctor Gouache: "Of Course I have a patient waiting for a liver to cook [He realizes] sh*t! I MEAN TRANSPLANT! I GOTTA GET TO THE BREAK ROOM!" [He darts out in a hurry leaving Jimbo and Ned alone with Conner.]

Ned: [Sobs on Jimbo's shoulder] "Oh Jimbo I can't bear to see our little boy like this!" [Sobbing]

Jimbo: [Slaps him] "Get it together Ned your acting like your on your period or something. Now right now Conner needs us to be strong for him."

Ned: "Your Right Jimbo!" [Wipes away his tears]

Jimbo: "Alright quiet he's waking up."

[Conner slowly opens his eyes]

Jimbo: "Hey sport how are you feeling?"

[Conner looks around the room]

Ned: [Hugs him tight] "Oh Conner my baby you had me worried so sick!" [Jimbo whacks him with a rolled up newspaper until he lets go]

Jimbo: "Ned when we get home we're going to have a serious talk about your behavior over some hardcore porno." [He turns to Conner] "Conner your in the hospital, You had a nightmare and went into a trance but everything's gonna be okay now." [He takes out a can of beer.] "Look I brought you a tall cold one to help calm you down." [He opens it and puts a loopy straw in it handing it to Conner]

Conner: [Looks at the beer] "I'm not very thirsty at the moment Jimbo."

Jimbo: "You sure? Well okay I'll just leave it here incase you change your mind." [He puts it on the nightstand.] "Is there anything else we can get you to help you feel comfortable? An extra pillow? some Ice cream? A Hustler magazine?"

Conner: "Well there is one thing you can get me."

Jimbo: "Name it."

Conner: "Can you get your Nephew Stan and his friends out of school for the day I have to talk to them. it's really urgent."

Jimbo: "Of course Conner come on Ned we gotta go pick up the boys."

[They leave the room and walk pass Doctor Gouache who's carrying a microwaved liver in his hands.]

Doctor Gouache: "Oo ow oo oo hot hot hot hot hot." [He tosses it up and down trying not to burn his hands] "Gangway Liver for transplant stat!" [He steps in a bucket and trips sending the hot liver flying into Nurse Goodley's face who screams and tries to get it off with her nonexistent hands.]


[Cuts to the boys Standing at the bus stop.]

Stan: "So Kenny did you find Conner last night?"

Kenny: [muffled] "Yep he told me that's it very important that we meet him as soon as possible."

Kyle:" Why's that?"

Kenny: [Muffled] "Well He said....[Kenny is struck and hit by Jimbo's SUV and sent flying into a snowblower. He screams as the blades cut him to ribbons.]

Stan: "Oh My God They Killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You Bastards!"

[Jimbo rolls down the window.]

Jimbo: "Damn I must have hit another Raccoon crossing the road."

Stan: "Uncle Jimbo! What are you doing here?"

Jimbo: "Hop in boys we're going to the hospital to see Conner."

Stan: "Conner's in the hospital? is he going to be alright?"

Jimbo: "He had little episode last night and went into shock but he's alright."

Kyle: "But we have to go to school today."

Cartman: "Kahl now is not the time to go looking a gift horse in the mouth." [He opens the door and climbs in the backseat.]

[Stan and Kyle look at each other and shrug and climb in too.]

[Jimbo pulls away as we the snowblower blowing red snow off the driveway and into the yard along with shreds of Kenny's parka.]

[Cut to Hell's Pass Hospital]

[A little old lady with a walker is walking out along with a doctor and nurse.]

Doctor: "Alright Mrs Albertson your hip replacement should be fully healed and be working just fine."

Mrs Albertson: "Thank you so much."

Nurse: "You take care of yourself and call us if there's any problems at all okay? You have a nice day."

[The doctor and nurse leave. Mrs Albertson takes two steps with her walker and is immediately run over by Jimbo's SUV and then backed on top of as he parks it.]

Mrs Albertson:"Oooh my hip my hip!"

Jimbo: " Damn Must have hit a deer crossing the parking lot or something, hope the bumpers not too messed up, oh well come on boys Conner is inside waiting for us."

[Jimbo, Ned and the boys including Kenny get out of the car and go into the hospital leaving Mrs Albertson writhing in pain."

Mrs Albertson: "Oooh!"

[Jimbo Ned and the boys race up the stairs to Conner's room only to find he's gone and only Gunny his stuffed dog in his place.]

Ned: "OH WHY WHY WHY!!" [He grabs Gunny and breaks down sobbing]

Jimbo: "Poor Conner Why?" [Also begins crying]

[Nurse Goodley walks in.]

Nurse Goodley: "If your looking for Conner Kerns he's right next door at the moment."

Jimbo: "Next Door?"

[Jimbo and Ned charge through the door knocking over Nurse Goodley only to find the room next door is the morgue.]

Jimbo: "OH GOD NO CONNER!" [He pounds on the door and begins sobbing again.]

Ned: [Voicebox] "I'll never see my baby boy again!" [Starts sobbing]

[Meanwhile the boys help Nurse Goodley up as a toilet flushes and Conner walks out of the men's bathroom which is right next door to the morgue and across the hall from his room.]

Kyle: "Oh hey Conner what's up dude?"

Conner: "I'm in the hospital had to pee nothing much."

Jimbo: [Turns around] "Conner?" [He and Ned charge toward him knocking over Nurse Goodley in the process again. They pick him up and hug him.] "Thank God your still alive."

Conner: "Of course why wouldn't I be?"

Jimbo: "Never mind let's just get you back to your room."

[Jimbo and Ned put him back down and they all walk into Conner's room, each one taking the time to step on Nurse Goodley.]

Nurse Goodley: "Ouch."

Kyle: "So what exactly did you have to tell us about so bad?"

Conner: [Looks out the window.] "You guys are some of the best friends I could ask for you stood by my side when the sh*t was up to my eyeballs, I'll never forget that."

Stan: "Uh Thanks Dude."

Conner: "Kenny already knows the scoop but for the rest of you I'll keep it brief." I'm in here because I had a traumatic nightmare and went into shock."

Cartman: "Are you gonna eat that cookie?"

Conner: "You want it take it but it's Oatmeal raisin."

Cartman: "Yeeagh! that's f*cking disgusting."

Conner: "As I was saying I had a nightmare last night and before you ask it had nothing to do with the Pandemic."

Kyle: "Well what happened in your dream?"

Conner: [sighs and turns to face them] "He killed everyone Kyle...our parents your parents everyone we know and love and then he killed you guys in front of me."

Kyle: "Who killed us."

Conner: "An old friend of mine from military school Corporal James Hook or Colonel as he calls himself now."

Stan: "Okay Conner this a lot to take in why don't you just slow down and explain just what exactly is going on here."

[Conner sits down on the bed and looks at his tags.]

Conner: "It was the Height of the American-Canadian war of 1999."

[The screen fades to a flashback as we cut to a commercial]

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