First Blood First Serve Chapter 10

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Nick Assburger
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First Blood First Serve Chapter 10

Postby Nick Assburger » Wed Sep 09, 2015 7:24 pm

[Return from Commercial]

[A substation labeled Alfred Packer Memorial Substation.]

[Inside a small office an electrical engineer sits at his desk his feet propped up and a bowl of soup in his hand. He watches jewelry shopping network on TV.]

TV: "Our next item on display is this beautiful faux turquoise necklace only $7.99 that's a steal for something this beautiful whoo!"

Engineer: "Eh I bet Mom would like it." [He takes out his phone]

[Outside another engineer checks the circuits to a transformer with a flashlight, satisfied he walks outside and over to the fence.]

Engineer # 2: "Hey Bert! I'm gonna take a piss I'll be right back!"

Bert: [From inside] "Okay Joe just watch that you don't pee on the fence!"

Joe: "Oh very funny you waste your time watching that stupid jewelry channel!"

[Joe goes over to the fence right next to the sign that says Danger High Voltage Fence DO NOT TOUCH OR PISS ON. He unzips his pants and begins peeing perilously close to the fence.]

Joe: [Whistles as splashes of his pee hit the fence creating tiny sparks.] "Heh heh I love when they do that."

[Suddenly a bright light shines on his Joe, He throws his hand over his eyes and his stream goes off course down his leg.]

Joe: "God Damn It! I got it all over my leg." [He zips his pants up and looks to see to see the lights are coming from the front of one of Hook's buses which has stopped in front of the gate] "What the hell is a summer camp bus doing out here this late?" [He begins to walk up to it.] "Hey Buddy you got any idea what time of night it is?" [There is no response from the bus] "It's past 10 and I've got enough to deal with with without you driving up behind me and scaring me into pissing down my leg!" [He bangs on the door] "Hey open up in there assh*le! [The door opens and a lawn dart shoots out piercing Joe in the eye and killing him instantly.]

[Meanwhile back in the office Bert is finishing his talk with the jewelry show host.]

TV: "So who are you getting this for?"

Bert: "My Mother."

TV: "Your Mother huh well isn't that just sweet it's like I always say these necklaces make a great gift for the holidays you got your credit card number?"

Bert: "Yeah I got my credit card number it's.."

[Theres a knock at the door]

Bert: "Hold on I'll be right!" [He gets up and goes for the door] "God damn it Jack" [He opens the door] "What is it Jack? UGH! [He's answered by a circular saw blade that flies into his throat and decapitates him.]

TV: "Hello? Hello Bert? Are you still there Bert? [His head rolls down next to his chair] "Well It seems we've lost o'l Bert for now but don't you worry there's plenty of these Faux Turquoise necklaces to go around. Alright next item is..."

[A saw blade cuts thru the TV cutting the host off. We see the attacker in the door way is the Lost Boys Demolitions Lt. He lowers his saw blade launcher as his name appears in bold style letters.]


Shockley: [Takes out a walkie talkie] "Area secured clear to bring in the gremlins."

[6 soldiers dressed in dungaree overalls and hard hats pile out of the bus carrying various tools. One pair, a boy and a girl bring out a blowtorch and proceed cutting into the security panels for the power transformers while another pair proceed with setting C4 up on the several of the breakers. The Last Pair set up a pair of homemade turrets made from a pitching machine loaded with Hand grenades and a tennis ball launcher with a blow torch attached to the barrel and secure the perimeter.]

Lt Shockley: "Colonel We've got control of the substation Step 1 is Complete."

[Colonel Hook's Bus]

Colonel Hook: "Good how soon will the power be down?"

Lt Shockley: [On the radio] "About 7 Mikes Sir!"

Colonel Hook: "Well Get it done Hook Out!" [He puts down the radio and turns to his driver] "Baker prepare for Step 2"

[The Driver turns around to reveal himself to be.. LT Baker HE'S STILL THE TALLEST.]

Baker: [Turns back around and gets on the horn] "Attention all buses attention all buses Step 1 is complete all drivers proceed to step two. All soldiers should check their weapons and prepare for combat."

[The kids inside load up their weapons and prepare for combat. Grant unloads his handgun checks the number of rounds in the magazine. Satisfied He loads the magazine back in and pulls the slide back. He smiles as it snaps.]

Kaitlyn: [Loads up her weapon a Crossbow loaded with dynamite arrows.] "Is that all your taking?"

Grant: "It's all I need." [He holds it up]

Kaitlyn: [Looks down at her feet.]

Grant: "What's up?"

Kaitlyn: "I'm just a little anxious I mean this is it, this is the beginning of the revolution everything we've worked for since the war."

Grant: "Yeah I'm excited too I'm hoping to shoot me one of those jerkasses that goes around offering you free samples of laundry detergent without fabric softener. Who wants detergent without fabric softener?"

Kaitlyn: "Yeah heh heh." [Rubs her arm nervously and takes a deep breath.]

Grant: "Who are you gunning for?"

Kaitlyn: "Me?"

Grant: "Yeah teachers, cops, 5th graders?"

Kaitlyn: "I don't know I was thinking I'd blow up that bitches house or something."

Grant: "Oh you looking for some payback too huh? That's great we can do it together personally I was hoping to bag that lawyer husband of hers. [He looks down the sights of his gun and gestures a bang] Ba-Bang!"

[Kaitlyn looks out the window and sighs]

Kaitlyn: [Thinking] "Why am I still thinking of you Kurtz? You were a fool a disgrace, You had the chance to get your revenge on everyone who wronged you and instead you chose to defend them why?"

[Elsewhere Conner and Nurse Grande pull up to a house and Conner steps out.]

Conner: "This is the place keep the motor running."

[Conner walks on the lawn picks up a pebble and throws it at the second floor window. The shutter opens and a dirty boy with messy hair looks out.]

Christophe: [Yawns and rubs his eyes] "Qui la baise est-il?" ["Who the f*ck is it?]

Conner: "Good morning to you mon ami."

Christophe: "Conner? Ez that you?"

Conner: "No it's God of course it's me who else do you know that can take your shovel to his face and still call you his close friend?"

Christophe: "Do you know what time et is?"

Conner: "Do I look like I care?"

Christophe: "What do you want?"

Conner: "My comrade in arms that's what there's trouble headed for town right now and we need to rally the troops for battle."

Christophe: "Hold on let me get dressed first before you start going all Gregory on me."

[He goes back into his room opens his drawer and throws on his mercenary clothes before picking up and slinging his shovel on his back. He then ties off a rope and climbs down for his window.]

Christophe: "So what ez this that your going around waking me up in ze middle of the night and...[He sees Nurse Grande in the drivers seat and his eyes go wide as his cigarette falls from his dropped jaw] "Mon Dieu sont ces seins pour de vrai?" [My God are those breasts for real?]

Conner: "100% natural Christophe I'll explain on the way."

[Cuts to the car stopping in front of Jimbo's guns.]

Christophe: "What are we doing here?"

Conner: "Everybody out."

[They climb out of the car and Conner walks over to the drivers side climbs in and closes the door.]

Nurse Grande: "Conner what are doing?"

Conner: "It's okay I got this. [He turns to Ze Mole] "Mole I need to borrow your shovel."

Christophe: "Out of ze question Kurtz no one touches e'r but me."

Conner: "Fine then get in here I need you to press her against the gas pedal."

Nurse Grande: "Your not thinking of doing what I think you are are you?"

Conner: "I'll have to do some explaining to Jimbo and Ned but I'm sure his insurance will cover it."

Christophe: "Scoot ove'r." [He climbs in as Conner puts it in reverse and turns the wheel]

Conner: "Okay Christophe give us a little gas."

[Christophe presses the gas with his shovel sending the Ferrari rolling backwards straight]

Conner: "Okay that's good you can stop now."

[Christophe presses the brake and Conner shifts into drive]

Conner: "Alright floor it!"

[Christophe presses his shovel to the gas and the Ferrari screams into the shop going zero to 60 into the shop at full speed. It goes so fast that it crashes thru the door and slams into the back wall with in a devastating impact. Lucky for Conner and Christophe the airbags deploy."


Nurse Grande: "Conner Christophe! Vos esta bem?" [Are you alright?]

Conner: "Nurse Grande? Grab a knife from the display case there." [He points to the shattered display case in front of the counter.]

Christophe: "You weren't exactly on z'e ball in z'e jungle but you were never z'his bad."

Conner: "Sorry I guess I underestimated the cars horsepower."

Christophe: "You almost got us killed I a'vent been awake 20 minutes and you've already almost killed me."

[Nurse Grande grabs a knife from the display case and pops both the airbags freeing the boys]

Conner: "Thanks Nurse Grande" [He climbs out of the car and walks over to the children's clothing rack.]

Nurse Grande: "Conner are you alright?"

Conner: "I'm fine."

Nurse Grande: "You could have been killed."

Conner: "Save it I've already heard it from Ze Mole already."

Christophe: [Grabs his shovel and climbs out of the car.] "Nope nobody bother to help me I z'ink it e'z only a concussion and a case of whiplash." [He rubs his head.]

[Nurse Grande checks on Christophe who's eyes are square on her boobs which are right in his face while Conner grabs several clothes in his size along with a matching pair of boots, a ballistic vest a knife and survival provisions. He then jumps behind the counter and begins typing in a code to a keypad.]

Nurse Grande: [Looks over at him] "What are you doing Conner?"

Conner: [Continues typing] "I know it's a 5 digit number 24769."

[The shelf behind the counter slides back and into the wall revealing a hidden armory loaded to the brim with guns and ammo. Rifles line the racks and machine guns and rocket launchers fill the shelves.]

Christophe:[Turns away from Nurse Grande's boobs.] "Mon An'e" [My Jackass. Christophe says this instead of My God as an insult.]

Conner: "Jimbo showed this when I first moved in with him most of this stuff is left over from his and Ned's service in Nam.

[Conner begins loading weapons into the dented trunk of the Ferrari. First a pair of M16s still fully automatic followed by an Stoner 63 light machine gun, an M82 50 caliber sniper rifle, an Ithaca 37 stakeout shotgun, an M60 machine gun, a pair of uzi submachine guns, bandoliers of ammo and grenades, and enough bullets to start the American Canadian War all over again plus...

Nurse Grande: "What is that?"

Conner: [Tosses it into the trunk] "M202 Rocket launcher."

Nurse Grande: "Madre de dios! And you know how to use this thing?"

Conner: "Like a pro." [He picks up a up a portable Minigun and tosses it in the trunk.] "Alright lets go!"

Sgt Yates: "Freeze!"

[Several officers swarm the gun shop weapons at the ready. Conner and Christophe put their hands up.]

Sgt Yates: "Well well well Kurtz what an unpleasant surprise you haven't been out one week and already your planning a little late night rampage?"

Conner: "Heh heh Yates I know this looks really really bad right now but if you just let me explain...

Yates: "Quiet I'm placing you all under arrest for breaking and entering, theft, reckless driving, reckless endangerment, possession of illegal firearms, and indecent exposure."

Conner: Indecent exposure? The gown covers up the front!" [His gown falls down giving us a good view of him naked.] "Whoops"

Yates: "Make that indecent exposure and flashing yourself at a public servant. Take him away boys but don't do anything to startle him. You know what he's capable of."

Conner: "Do with me what you will I won't resist this time." [Yates cuffs him and Conner and Christophe are led away in cuffs]

Christophe: "Ce est une mise en place d'un correctif cet idiot m'a amené ici contre ma volonté . Je suis innocent! obtenir vos mains sales puants sur moi vous putain de porcs."

[This is a set up a fix this idiot brought me here against my will. I'm innocent! get your filthy stinking hands off me you f*cking pigs.]

[The cops throw them into the back of the squad car causing Conner to land on top of Christophe.]

Christophe: [Screams] "Get off me you f*cking homo!"

Conner: "I can't handcuffs!"

[Pov outside the police car audio only]

Christophe: "Z'his e'z officially ze gayest moment of my entire life."

Conner: "No argument there."

Christophe: "Could you maybe get your dick away from mine?"

Conner: "Hold on let just try moving my...."

Christophe: "No no z'hat makes e't worse Mon ane I can see e't all."

Conner: "Sorry Sorry!"

Christophe: "If Gregory hears of z'his z'hat limey homosexual will never let here z'he end of e't."

[Yates walks over to Nurse Grande]

Yates: "Alright m'am I think it's best you come downtown with uh ah WHOA! Look at the size of those Tetons!"

[The other cops drop their guns and their jaws at the sight of Nurse Grande's breasts.

Cop: "Nice"

Cop 2 : "Nice."

Cop 3 : "Nice

Nurse Grande: [Sighs] "Por que yo? [Why me?] I'll get in the car." [She takes the handcuffs out of the stunned officers handcuffs herself and walks out to the police."

[South Park Police Station.]

[Conner and Christophe sit in the interrogation room while Detective Mitch Murphy interrogates them. Conner is now dressed in prison orange.]

Murphy: "Your both facing charges of breaking and entering, burglary, reckless driving, reckless endangerment, destruction of private property, vandalism, possession of automatic weapons, What do you have to say for yourself."

[Christophe sits with his arms crossed refusing to look at Conner or Murphy]

Christophe: "He came over to my house woke me up in z'he of z'he night saying he wanted my help and z'hat a'here was trouble coming to our town. I should 'ave ignored him and stayed in bed."

Conner: [Looks at him sternly] "Sir I can explain."

Murphy: "Explain what? your looking at ten to fifteen years hard time Kurtz. I'd think hard about what you say next.

Conner: "You know about the incident at Hells Pass hospital?"

Murphy: "I do but I don't see what it has to do with you breaking down the doors of Jimbo's guns."

Conner: "It has everything to do with it Murphy. I know who did it."

Murphy: "Alright talk."

Conner: "It was a Russian girl said her name was Carma Carmilla? Carmen! that was it Carmen."

Murphy: "And what did this Russian Carmen look like?"

Conner: "She was very short only came up to my shoulders thou she claimed to be ten years old. She was dressed as a doctor in scrubs and she looked like she had black hair until she removed it revealing it was a wig then I saw her hair was actually blue."

Murphy: "Blue hair short dressed as a doctor I see and what did this Carmen say to you?

Conner: "She said she was here to Kill Kyle's Mom."

Christophe: [Angry] "You got me arrested because you were trying to save z'hat fat b'etch?"

Murphy: "Christophe when we're in the interrogation room we need to use our inside voices alright?"

Christophe: "Bite me you stinking pig."

Murphy: "One more like that and your both going in the cell back there."

[Interrogation room B]

[Yates conducts a more intimate interrogation of Nurse Grande]

Yates: "For the record please state your name and phone number for the record."

Nurse Grande: "Taina Isabela Grande and my eyes are up here detective."

Yates: "Oh um yeah well anyway I think I'm just gonna ask you a few personal questions."

Nurse Grande: "I understand."

Yates: "What do you think is a better first date? Dinner out or the movies?"

Nurse Grande: [Annoyed] "And what does that have to do with me being interrogated?"

Yates: "Just following protocol M'am now next question do you like men with or without mustaches?"

Nurse Grande: "Is that a ring on your finger Detective?"

Yates: "That was not the question Miss Grande."

Nurse Grande: "Ugh I'd have to say with."

Yates: "Nice."

[Interrogation Room A]

Murphy: "So your telling me an old friend who you knew during the American Canadian War has gone rogue and is leading an army of children in an insurrection against us?"

Conner: "You don't believe me do you?"

Murphy: "Honestly How can I Kurtz? You escape from a hospital when you were not supposed to leave, You and your hot nurse friend stole a car and crashed it into a gun store so you could make off with enough firepower to start a small war and you flashed your penis in public. I'm afraid your both looking at eight years in juvenile hall for violating the terms of your probation.

Christophe: "Eight years? Eight f*cking years? I didn't do f*cking anything! This pussy woke me up in z'he middle of z'he night almost killed me and got me arrested by the f*cking pigs and I'm the one z'hat gets his ass sent to prison?"

Murphy: "I'm very disappointed in both of you to be honest. Particularly you Kurtz after all you went thru to get your life back together, I sympathized with went thru when you first got here. I thought you were a good kid deep down despite what everyone else said but I guess I was wrong."

Conner: "Detective Murphy You've got to believe me Hook is not someone to make false alarms if he says he's going to attack then....[Murphy cuts him off.]

Murphy: "No don't say anything more Kurtz I don't want to hear it. You have the right to remain silent I suggest you use it."

[Prison Cells]

[Christophe is trying to call his Mother in French.]

Christophe: "Non Non mere je ne fumais pas cette fois je je jure.....[Audible phone noises] ("No no mother I wasn't out smoking this time I swear it") "Tas Toi salope stupide que jevais arreter lorsque vous arretez -vous boire dans une stupeur putain!"

("Shut up you stupid bitch I'll quit when you stop drinking yourself into a f*cking stupor.")

[Audible phone noises]

"Vous dites que vous me aimez, mais vous ne avez jamais putain dire qu'il!"

("You say you love me but you never f*cking mean it")

[Audible phone noises]

"Je ne suis pas votre petite crêpe adorable vous putain essayé de me poignarder dans le ventre avec un cintre putain salope shitfaced"

("I am not your adorable little crepe you f*cking tried to stab me in the womb with a f*cking coat hanger you shitfaced bitch")

[Audible phone noises]

"Non pas demain droite je ai besoin que vous me prenez dès maintenant ."

("No not tomorrow right I need you to pick me up right now.")

[Audible phone noises]

"Avez-vous raccrochez pas sur moi Mère ne vous avisez pas mis le téléphone ... [Hang up sound.] "Merde."

("Don't you hang up on me Mother don't you dare put the*t.")

Police officer: "What did she say?"

Christophe: "She said she was too wasted to come pick me up and would come by in the morning when her hangover goes away."

Police Officer: "Alright back in the cell, Kurtz your next remember one phone call."

[Christophe walks back into the cell and sits on the slab while Conner stands up and walks over to the phone. He picks it up and dials Jimbo.]

[Jimbo's House.]

[Jimbo and Ned are sleeping on the couch together bottles of liquor and porno dvd's line the floor and table.]

Ned: [Drunkenly comes to and nudges Jimbo.] "Jimbo? Jimbo? Jimbo?" [He hasn't got his voice box so his voice is quiet and hoarse.]

Jimbo: [Still passed out drunk] "Thank you-Thank you so very much? I am so honored to be chosen as Miss Saigon of 1972."

Ned: [Starts searching the floor] "Voice box where's my voice box?" [He sees it sticking out of the front of Jimbo's pants.] "Oh man that is nasty." [He goes upstairs]

[Prison Cells]

[The message from their answering machine plays.]

Jimbo: "Hi there you've the residence of Jimbo, Ned and Conner unfortunately we can't come to the phone right now because we're probably out Squirrel! [Gunshots] Because we're probably out hunting or fishing Rabbit! [Gunshots]

[Ned comes downstairs in his boots and underwear carrying his backup voice box which is pink and runs for the phone.]

Message: "Please leave us a message after the gunshot and we'll get back to you as soon as we...[The message is interrupted by Ned answering the phone.]

Ned: [In the voice of Pinkie Pie] "Hello?"

Conner: [Eyes wide in surprise] "Uh Hello?"

Ned: [close up on his voice box reveals the logo to say My Little Pony Friendship is Magic little smokers voice box] "Conner? is that you?"

Conner: "Ugh this is Conner yes? I'm trying to reach Jimbo Kerns and Ned Gerblansky it's kind of important."

Ned: [Voice now sounds like Apple Jack] "I'm using my other voice box right now since Jimbo...[He looks over to see his old voice box still in Jimbo's pants.] Since Jimbo insisted I try it out."

Conner: "Oh It's just because you sound uh different is all."

Ned: [Voice of Rarity] "Well you know how Jimbo and I like our...favorite show well I saw it at the mall and figured it might make a great gag gift is all."

Conner: "Yeeeeaaaaaah well listen I kinda need you to pick me up from the police station."

Ned: [Voice of Rainbow Dash] "The Police Station? At this hour? sorry this voice box is defective keeps [Voice changes to Twilight Sparkle] Changing voices on me. Which brings me to why are you calling me from the police station? It's almost midnight and the police said you were being transferred to North Park General?"

Conner: "Well Ned I sort of...broke out and stole a car to get back to town."

Ned: [Voice of Princess Celestia] "YOU WHAT? [Conner backs off from the phone]

Conner: "I broke out of the hospital stole a doctors Ferrari and rammed it into the gun shop so I could get weapons from the back room."

Ned: [Voice changes to Derpy Hooves] "Conner Whittler Kerns As your adopted father I am very very disappointed in you your adopted father and I entrusted you were responsible enough to know about that room. Was anybody hurt?"

Conner: [Looks over at Christophe who's not looking back at him] "No Ned nobody except me."

Ned: [Still Derpy] "Conner we need have a heart to heart talk right now there's something I've got to tell you now that can't wait. You see.....[The phone is disconnected by Shockley cutting the power to the phone lines with his ax.]

Conner: "Derpy? Er I mean Ned? Ned are you still there? Ned? [He hangs up the phone]

Police officer: "Alright back to your cell Kerns"

[Conner is led back to his cell where he sits down next to Christophe who is still not talking to him.]

[Inside the police station radio room an officer fusses with the radio which is throwing out a buzzing sound.]

Police Officer: "Hey Murphy!"

[Murphy sets down his coffee and walks in]

"Murphy: "What is it Peterson?"

Peterson: "Something's wrong with the radio, I can't reach anyone on any of the bands all I get is some static."

Murphy: "Better call the power company and get them out there fast."

Peterson: "I tried that already but my I phone isn't getting a signal and neither is the internet. [starts to panic] What am I gonna do Sir? People could be trying to send me kitty pictures and I wouldn't even know?"

[Murphy slaps Peterson across the face.]

Murphy: "Get it together man I'm sure whatever this is the power company is on their way they might even already be there.

Peterson: [Calms down] "Thanks Sir I needed that."


[Shockley walks back into the office ax in hand. He takes out his radio.]

Shockley: "Sir this is Shockley we've just cut the phone, radio and internet lines into town, we're tapped into the station itself and we're setting up a private server as we speak password is killalladultsunder12. Should be ready in 30 minutes."

[Colonel Hook's bus]

Colonel Hook: "Killalladultsunder12 got it good work Lieutenant keep it up over and out."

Shockley: "Roger over and out." [He puts down the radio sits down in the chair next to Bert's decapitated head and proceeds to watch Terrence and Phillip which is playing on Bert's Tv.]

Colonel Hook: [Picks up the radio] "Attention all drivers attention this is Colonel Hook we're entering the town of South Park proceed to your designated drop points and prep your troops for immediate combat. [He puts the radio down and looks over at the Lt dressed as a pilot.] Flyboy?

[We get the Borderlands style intro on the Lt who we see is Pvt Davenport the getaway pilot from the rescue mission.]

Lt Alvin H "Flyboy" Davenport!

"He's an Ace at Air Combat"

[The screen returns to normal]

"Get your squadrons ready ready for immediate takeoff."

Flyboy: "Yes sir!"

[We get an instrumental of March on Lost Boys March on as Lt Davenport turns on his helmet headset.]

Flyboy: "Goose's nest this is Mother Goose do you copy over?"

Radio: "This is Goose Nest we read you loud and clear Mother Goose over."

Davenport: "Roger that Goose Nest Step two is in effect begin step 3 immediately."

Radio: "Acknowledged over and out."

[The Convoy rolls past the South Park sign]

[Grant and Kaitlyn's bus.]

Grant: [Looks out the window at the sign.] "Here we are." [He opens the window leans his arm out and shoots the sign several times knocking it back and forth several times before it falls off it's post. Satisfied with his act of vandalism Grant smiles leans back in and blows the smoke off his barrel before reloading. The other kids cheer and applaud including Kaitlyn.]

[Hook's bus]

Colonel Hook: [Talks on the radio] "Convoy Halt!"

[The Convoy comes to a stop.]

Colonel Hook: "Flyboy it's time to deploy your bomber wing ."

Flyboy: "Mother Goose to Goose Nest it's time to give the enemy a flying lesson they'll never forget."

[Flyboy's pilots and flight deck crew disembark from their bus which happens to have a wheelchair lift which they use to lower a large package covered by a tarp. The flight crew removes it reveal several heavily modified drones. Some are Quadrotors armed with IED's made of C4 and Flechette Darts, others are attack choppers equipped with nail gun and lawn darts tied to bottle rockets, and of course some are homemade bomber planes made by Flyboy Himself. including his personal drone, A replica A-10 Warthog armed with two Illegal laser guided Tijuana Bottle rockets.]

[The flight crew assembles several improvised runways made from sections of skateboard ramps and bungee catapults then place the planes armed onto the wooden ramps. meanwhile the others place the quad rotors into formation while the pilots takes out their controllers and lower their visors.]

FlyBoy: "On my Mark....LAUNCH!"

[One by one the drones launch from the improvised runway into the sky where they assemble into formation with the quadrotor squadrons quickly follow behind. The sky above South Park is filled with drones in numbers unseen since Craig's Mom exposed her magic bush.]

Flyboy: [Talks to Hook on the radio] "It's beautiful sir more beautiful than I imagined."
Colonel Hook: "Good hunting and Godspeed Flyboy."

[The scene transitions to the street where the residents of South Park step out to see what the commotion is.]

Randy: "What's going on?"

Sharon: "What are all those planes doing up there?"

[Gerald, Kyle and Ike step out onto their lawn along with The Stotch's and The Cartman's. In their dilapidated yard the Mccormick's step out to see what's going on.]

Kyle: "Hey Stan are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Stan: "That some very bad sh*t's about to go down? You bet."

Butters: "Hey Fellas! You guys up too?

Eric: "Butters shut the f*ck up right now before I beat your head in!"

Stan: "Dude Cartman what's up your ass?"

Cartman: "I've got no internet no Xbox Live there's nothing on tv and I've got two gay butt holes asking me what my f*cking problem is."

Liane: "Eric Sweetie go back inside please." [She pushes Eric back into the house.]

Eric: [Drags his feet resisting] "But Mahm there's nothing to do in the house."

Liane: "Just go play with your toys or something Poopykins and I'll be in to tuck you in soon."

[While Liane pushes a tantrum throwing Cartman into the house Stephen looks up at the drones in horror.]

Stephen: [Shocked low voice] "My God it's finally come the drones are rising up against us! LINDA BUTTERS GET DOWNSTAIRS TO THE BASEMENT!"

Butters: "Okay Dad bye fellas?" [He waves as his Dad drags him back into the house.]

[At the Mccormick household Kenny's family looks up at the sky worried]

Stuart: "Everybody get back inside right now." [They go back inside and huddle, Karen starts crying in fear]

Carol: "It'll be alright children nothing is going is going to hurt us." [She notices Kenny is missing.] "Kenny? Kenny where are you?

[Cut to a shot of Kenny's room where see his window is open and his parka has been left on the floor.]

Carol: "Stuart where's Kenny?"

Stuart: "I wasn't looking I thought you had him?"

Carol: "Great Stuart just great I trust you to round up the kids and you forget Kenny."

Stuart: "Hey get off my back woman I've been working all day."

Carol: "Work? Is that what you call going to the bar and getting drunk all day?"

[Mysterion dashes down the street. while Carol and Stuart's argument descends into punches thrown and bottles broken.]

[Police Station]

[The police rush out to investigate what's happening]

Murphy: "What in the world?"

[The drones up in the sky begin surveying the town below with their electronic eyes. The view changes to a birds eye infrared night camera view of the town.]

Flyboy: "Attention all pilots confirm you have a visual on your assigned targets!"

Pilot Boy: "This is Zip I have eyes on the school."

Pilot Girl: "This is Dash I have eyes on the police station."

Black Pilot Boy: "This is Zoom I've got eyes on the city hall building."

Flyboy: "You are not cleared to engage assigned targets along with any targets of opportunity but do not fire on the homesteads."

Zip: "So we're clear to engage all targets except the houses?"

Flyboy: "Affirmative we have confirmed intel that political prisoners are being held in those buildings."

Zoom: "We have armed personal emerging from the police station requesting permission to engage."

Flyboy: "Hold your fire Zoom!"

Zoom: "What? But sir we're in range to.... [Flyboy cuts him off.]

Flyboy: "First kill belongs to Mother Goose sweetheart."

[Flyboy's RC A10 locks onto the police station]

Target Locked.

[On the ground Mysterion arrives at the police station]

Murphy: "Mysterion it's great to see you we've tried calling for backup but the radio's not responding and the phones and internet are down."

Mysterion: "Listen to me Detective Murphy there isn't much time for me to explain everything."

[Cuts back to Flyboy's drone]

Flyboy: "Fox Two!"

[The A10 drone fires it's Tijuana bottle rockets at the police station.]

Mysterion: "I know who's behind this and the only way to stop them is...."

Police Officer: "They're firing!" [The officers dive for cover]

Mysterion: "They're wha..[He turns around and sees the bottle rockets heading right for him.] "Oh Fu.....BOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!"

[The first mega bottle rocket impales him flies through the doors and explodes in a massive fireball that blows the windows, back wall and roof of the police station. The second mega bottle rocket slams into the parking lot sending squad cars flying like rag dolls of twisted metal. Inside the station Conner sees the flash of light from the missile.]

Conner: "GET DOWN!" [He grabs Christophe and tackles them both under the seat as the explosion blows off the cell door and engulfs the rest of the building in fire.]

[From the A10's POV we see the airstrike decimate the police station.]

Zip: "Oooh That's gotta hurt."

Zoom: "Yep I see lots of little pieces down there."

Dash: "I count 20+ confirmed kills nice shooting Sir!"

Flyboy: "Alright have it boys!"

Zip: "This is gonna be one hell of a highlight reel."

Zoom: "I heard that."

[Cut to shot of the burning bombed out police station zooming out as the Lost Boys Air Force begins launching airstrikes up and down South Park as Ride of the Valkyries by Plays. Zoom in to Colonel Hook who is watching the fireworks thru binoculars]

Colonel: "I love the sound of Illegal Fireworks exploding in the morning....sounds like victory!"

[Grant and Kaitlyn's bus.]

[The Lost Boys soldiers cheer and shout as they watch the airstrikes thru the bus windows. Grant fires his gun into the air putting several holes in the roof while Kaitlyn watches silently as the town burns.]

[Cut to commercial.]

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