South Row: The Third.

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South Row: The Third.

Postby hewitt120 » Thu Apr 05, 2012 7:48 pm

I know I've been on and off different fics recently, but I'll stick to this one for now.Another game ripped off in South Park style. This time it's Saints Row 3. Here's some characters:

The leader = Stan
Pierce = Kyle
Shaundi = Wendy
Johnny Gat = Token
Killbane = Cartman
Matt Miller = Butters
Viola = Bebe
Kiki = Heidi
Zimos = Kenny
Angel De la Muerte = Craig
Phillipe Loren = Pip
Oleg Kirrlov = Tweek
Kinzie = Red
Josh Birk = Clyde
Cyrus Temple = Jimbo

Anyway, lots of sexual themes, crime, Swearing, prostitution, guns, drugs etc.

The story of human history...

Since time immemorial, great leaders have risen up to do sh*t. An so it was with the 'Souths'. Since conquering Denver, the once small time street gang has evolved into a media empire. A 'Souths' movie is in development. Token Black and Wendy have become pop culture icons. And Kyle...well who gives a f*ck about Kyle? The point is, The Souths are on the world stage and every criminal organization want their crown. It was only a matter of time until one of them took the fight to The Souths...

Part 1: When good heists go bad.

Kyle is getting beat up in an alley by some punks. A pink light appears, and a can of 'South Flow' energy drink flies down to him. He drinks it that blows the punks away. Kyle holds a can of it to the camera.

Kyle: Super excellent!

A caption shows 'Prohibited in California'

Clyde holds his phone to the group.

Clyde: Japanese commercials, easiest money you'll ever make.

Token places a duffel bag on the floor and pulls out some guns.

Token: Whatever, crime is still right up there. You ready for this?

Clyde: No worries. I do my own stunts.

Wendy: Hey, your just a ride-along, man. Don't get all Hing Kong style in there.

Wendy loads her gun.

Clyde: I am a methodical actor. If I'm gonna play a role with any amount of emotional acting, I gotta make it real.

Stan approaches them wearing a ridiculously over-sized bobble head of Token.

Stan: Trust me Clyde, It'll be real.

Clyde: Your robbing a bank, dressed like yourselves?

Token: Hell yeah, who doesn't wanna be Token Black?

Wendy, Token and Clyde put on the masks as well.

Clyde: Ultra-post modernism. I like it.

They get in an elevator and go up to the main floor of the bank.

Wendy: I'm cool with this Souths movie, but do we really need to drag this assh*le actor around?

Stan: Eh' , cut him some slack. He's just researching his part.

Wendy: Well I hope he's signed a waver.

Stan shoots his gun in the air.

Stan: Alright people. You know the drill.

Clyde jumps on a desk.

Clyde: Nobody moves, nobody dies!

Token: CLYDE!

Clyde: Sorry. Jumped my line. Can we go again?

Stan: Give us the cash, then we'll leave.

The bank tellers casually hand over the money and try to get pictures with the Souths. Wendy holds a camera up to Stan and a Bank teller.

Wendy: Say sleaze...

Clyde however, holds a gun up to an old lady.

Clyde: Get in line, bitch.

Wendy: Hey, don't be a dick.

Clyde: You call yourselves gang bangers? Your a bunch of pussies. You should be all up in their sh*t like...

An alarm sounds and the lady holds a gun up to Clyde. More tellers and other men carrying assault rifles run in.

Stan: Well, that's different.

They all dive behind a counter.

Token: You got a plan or we shooting all these mother f*ckers?

Stan: That is my plan.

Wendy: Works for me.

The Souths attack the men as they run into the room. Token grabs a bank teller.

Token: Where's the vault?

Teller: Go to hell!

Token: Wanna play mother f*cker?

Token chucks him into a nearby statue and it collapses.

Clyde: Oh My God!

Token: What happened to 'I do my own stunts'?

Clyde: I...

Stan: Alright people, lets find this vault.

They all reach a door and Stan kicks it open.

Clyde: That's right you f*ckers. We're coming for you!

They gun down the guys and go upstairs.

Clyde: I still can't belie you lobbed that guy into a statue.

Token: I can't believe your still thinking about it.

They push through the guys and shoot up the bank.

Clyde: Is this what it's normally like?

Stan: Normally the tellers don't use f*cking shotguns!

Clyde: Normally banks don't look like a palace either.

Token: Just shut up. These guards a packing military grade hardware.

Stan: Who the hell are we robbing?

They reach the vault and bang the door.

Token: No way we're getting through this thing. Plan B?

Stan: Yep, Clyde get over here.

Clyde runs over with a bag.

Clyde: So what's plan B? We drill it?

Stan: f*ck no.

Stan pulls out some satchel charges.

Stan: We blow it!

Token: We'll need to set those above the vault.

Clyde: Wendy, we need to talk.

Wendy: We really don't.

Clyde: It's just, if I die here I don't want things to go unsaid.

Wendy: God dammit.

The Souths reach above the vault and plant the charges. They run for cover as they explode, revealing the vault.

Token: Alright, lets get the chopper and lift this baby out of here.

Clyde sees a red button under the desk.

Clyde: You can call off the chopper, I found a way to open the vault.

Token: NO!

Clyde hits the button and a SWAT warning alarm sounds.

Wendy: Clyde! Are you trying to gt us all jail time?

Clyde: What? I don't wanna be some dude's bitch!

Clyde runs away, leaving Stan ,Token and Wendy with the vault.

Token: Forget about him.

Wendy: How long till the chopper gets here?

Stan: Probably..2 waves of SWAT guys.

Wendy: Flashbang!

A flashbang explodes and SWAT guys rappel through the windows. The Souths hold them off.

Wendy: Gonna kill Clyde if I see him again!

Stan: I thought you two really had something there.

Wendy: Don't even go there!

A red attack chopper flies past the window.

Wendy: Really! A f*cking attack chopper?

Stan shoots at it for a while before it flies away. more SWAT guys come in with Riot shields. The chopper flies i a drops down a harness. Stan attaches the vault to the harness and stands on it using the rope to hold his balance.

Stan: GO!

The chopper pulls the vault up.

Stan: You two go out the back.

Wendy: And you?

Stan: I'm staying with the vault.

The chopper lifts up and Stan shoots at the SWAT helicopters and trucks in the street. The attack chopper flies back.

Stan: Thought I shot that thing down!

Stan shoots at it then it flies away again.

SWAT announcer: Make this easy o us. Sign autographs and then put down your guns.

Stan: Why the hell are we still here!?

Pilot: Controls aren't responding!

Stan: Get it fixed! I'll hold off the cops!

Pilot: You can't kill the all!

Stan: I don't appreciate that kind of negativity.

Stan shoots at the SWAT then sees the chopper return. He shoots at the chopper and it spins out of control.

Stan: Take that you...

The chopper veers towards the South's chopper.

Stan: No....NO!

Stan jumps from the chopper and smashes through a ban k window. The chopper crashes into the streets. Stan sighs then hears a gun cocking. He turns to see 24 SWAT commandos aiming at him.

Stan: Well sh*t....

Nice opening part. Next part won't be up till at least Monday because I'm going to London for the weekend :)

Last edited by hewitt120 on Sun Apr 08, 2012 5:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Germans seem to really like starting sh*t but it's cool 'cause its not like they ever win.
Posts: 50
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2011 12:24 am

Re: South Row: The Third.

Postby JDEDJR » Thu Apr 05, 2012 11:04 pm

Wayyyyyyyyy too much effort, dude.
Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:21 pm

Re: South Row: The Third.

Postby hewitt120 » Sun Apr 08, 2012 1:35 pm

Don't really care. Not as hard as you may think.
Germans seem to really like starting sh*t but it's cool 'cause its not like they ever win.
Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:21 pm

Re: South Row: The Third.

Postby hewitt120 » Mon Apr 09, 2012 10:13 am

Part 2: I'm free - free - falling

Two guards chuck Stan into a prison cell with Token and Wendy.

Stan: The f*ck is this? We paid up this month.

Guard: Someone paid more.

The guard slams the cell door and they walk away.

Token: What happened?

Wendy: We got arrested.

Token: No, to us. We traded our dicks in for pussies. Seriously, movie deals, commercials? The Souths name used to mean more than body spray and some ass-tasting energy drink.

Stan: Our brand is worth a shit-load of money.

Token: Is that what it's all about?

Heidi: It's always about the money, Mr.Black.

Wendy, Token and Stan look at the cell door as Heidi and Bebe walk in with some guards.

Bebe: Which is precisely why our employer wishes to speak with you. if you'll indulge us...

A passenger plane over Steelport...

Stan, Token and Wendy are tied to chairs. Bebe and Heidi stand on either side of a turning chair. pip turns around and takes a puff from is cigar.

Stan: Do you have any idea who your f*cking with?

Pip: Of course.

Heidi places a Token bobble-head on Pip's desk, he flicks the head making it fall over.

Pip: These visions are Bebe and Heidi, and I am Pip Pirrup, chairman of the multinational organization known as The Syndicate.

Wendy: Never heard of it.

Pip: Evidently not or you would not have robbed our bank. Perhaps you wonder why you are still breathing at this point.

Token: Actually, I'm wondering why my foot isn't up your ass at this point.

Pip: Like it or not, our organization is expanding into Denver. I am giving you a chance to leverage your assets, against your lives. Ladies:

A screen shows a Pie chart.

Bebe: You may continue to operate the Souths media group as you see fit, in exchange for 66% of your monthly gross revenue.

Heidi: That is before taxes of course.

Stan: Listen you french f*ck...

Pip: Please, I am British.

Token: so make yourself a f*cking crumpet. We're done here.

Pip: I had so hoped to come to a rational business agreement.

A man walks over a holds a pistol to Token's head, Token pulls up the chair and slams into the man. Token breaks loose and grabs the pistol. Pip takes out a switch-blade. Pip jams the switch blade into Token's jacket but misses his body. Token lams Pip's face into a plane window. Bebe and Heidi lead Pip out of the room and Token runs over to untie Stan and Wendy.

Token: Stan, you gotta bail!

Stan: No, not without you.

Six men wielding SMGs enter the room and shoot at them. They dive behind a desk.

Token: Half a dozen guys. I can take them.

Wendy: What about the plane?

Token: I'll fly it back to Denver.

Wendy: Token, you can't even drive a stick. How you gonna land a plane?

Token: Details, details. Just get out of here.

Token dives at a guard and grabs his gun. He shoots at the guys as Wendy and Stan run into another room. The door slams shut.

Wendy: We can't leave Token!

Stan: He can take care of himself!

An intercom comes online.

Token: Attention passengers, our updated flight plan has us landing in Denver. I would like to remind all passengers to remain seated and enjoy the flight.

Stan: Who gave Token a mic?

Token: I understand some of our passengers are getting restless. Here's some relaxing music for your enjoyment.

Some relaxing music starts playing as Wendy and Stan run through the plan, beating up guards. A guard with a pistol approaches them but the plane shakes violently.

Token: My apologies, your captain is having a little trouble finding the clutch.

Stan uses the opportunity to knock the guard out and take his pistol. He kicks open the door to the cargo bay.

Token: Find some 'chutes and jump out the back. It should be clear.

A guard lunges at Stan, Stan hits him and turns him around to use him as a human shield. He pushes him through the tangle of Trucks, SUVs and weapon crates.

Token: Alright you motherf*ckers. Wait, the door-

Pip: Kill him.

Stan and Wendy hear grunting over the intercom.

Token: You're gonna need more help than that, Frenchie!

Pip: I am British!

Token: Same thing!

Pip: I am going to cut that disrespectful tongue from your mouth.

Token: Oh yeah, you and how many of your...oh, that many.

Stan leads Wendy through the cargo bay. They reach a truck and see a single parachute on it. Stan grabs it and the two run to the back of the plane. Wendy runs over to a microphone and presses the button to talk into the cock-pit.

Wendy: Token, we're about to jump!

Token grunts.

Token: Right on! I'll see you in Den-

A hail of gunfire erupts from the speaker.

Wendy: Token?

The plane veers to the right. Stan falls and grabs onto the exit ramp of the plane. Wendy also falls and Stan grabs her a she comes off the drop-ramp. A SUV lurches towards them and Stan lets o of the plane. He looses grip of Wendy and the both begin to fall. As Stan falls, a guard falls onto him and grabs him.

Stan: The f*ck did you come from?

Stan elbows the guard in the face until he falls away. Stan reaches into his holster and reveals two SMGs. Gunfire whizzes past him and he looks up to see 3 more enemies free-falling towards him.

Stan: Really?

Stan shoots back at them. More squads of men fall from the plane and shoot at Stan. After Stan eliminates them, he dives down to catch Wendy. When he reaches her he grabs her and pulls the chute.

Wendy: I'm not gonna lie. For a minute there, I thought you wouldn't' make it in time.

Stan: Are you kidding me? I'd never let my girl fa-

They both hear plane engines. Stan looks towards the source and sees the plane heading straight at them.

Stan: What the hell is that?

Wendy: What is what?

Stan: That plane is...ok, don't freak out of anything but I think that plane is gonna try and ram us.

Wendy: What do you mean 'Don't freak out', do you have a plan?

Stan: Yeah, I shoot out the window, land in the plane, kill Pip, then jump out the back again.

Wendy: You mean we, right?

Stan: Just remember how happy you were when I caught you.

Stan chucks Wendy.

Wendy: Wait. What? YOU assh*le!

Stan veers toward the plane with his chute.

Stan: Shoot the window and land in the plane? What the f*ck was I thinking?

Stan shoots the window and drops his chute. He flies through and sprays the enemies with his gun. He slams into an enemy wearing a parachute and grabs him, shoots him then takes the parachute. Stan soars out the back as more pursuers jump from the plane. They fall at him but Stan quickly kills hem all using his SMG. Stan then dives down to get Wendy. Another guard grabs him

Stan: Get off me!

Stan punches him repeatedly then shoots him, he then resumes the dive through the debris of Cars and crates falling through the sky.

Stan: how much sh*t was in that plane?

Stan finally grabs Wendy and activates the parachute.

Stan: Gotcha!

Wendy: You're a f*cking assh*le!

Stan: Ok, I deserve that...

Back on the plane...

Pip is wearing an eye-patch after getting his head hit off the window. Bebe and Heidi are clearing away the bodies from the desk. Pip sits down and activates a TV. Cartman and his 'Luchadores' along with Butters and his 'Deckers' are on the screen.

Pip: Gentlemen, negotiations were...less than successful. Heidi and Bebe will spread the word, Steelport belongs to the Syndicate and The Souths are not welcome. Mr.Cartman, gather your Luchadores and bring me their leader's head. Mr.Stotch, hack into their bank accounts and leave them nothing...

Just to inform you, some of the missions have backing tracks. For some of these missions I will put a link to the track so you can listen while you read. Unlike my COD rip-offs, I may not be ale to get a part of this story up every 2 days as I am also working on the second South Park musical. Anyway, new part up in a few days.

Please give your opinions on this story and any of my Fan fics, I love getting feedback.
Germans seem to really like starting sh*t but it's cool 'cause its not like they ever win.
Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Jul 27, 2011 3:21 pm

Re: South Row: The Third.

Postby hewitt120 » Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:44 pm

Part 3: We're going to need guns.

Stan and Wendy are in a small back-street with a few strip clubs. Stan's phone rings.

Pip: The body of Mr.Black will be a message to all who oppose The Syndicate. There is no mercy, only death. Don't mourn your friend, you'll be joining him soon.

Wendy: Pip's gonna pay for this.

Stan: We'll need a car... Wendy, you know where we are?

Wendy: Steelport, kinda like Bangkok's abusive father.

Stan and Wendy break into a car and drive into the street.

Stan: Been here before?

Wendy: Spring break.

A man with a sign reading 'feel boss' walks past.

Stan: What the hell does 'feel boss' mean?

Wendy: You don't wanna know.

Stan: Ok whatever, you know where we're going?

Wendy: Look, I was really high the last time I was here. just drive, it'll come back to me.

Stan: So, about getting a gun.

Wendy: What about 'friendly fire', there's lots of stores around the city.

Stan sets his GPS for a friendly fire store.

Stan: We should let Kyle know what's up.

Wendy: I already texted him. He's bringing the crew.

Stan: look's like we'll need more guns. Any ideas?

Wendy: Ha, how about raiding the guard armory?

Stan: They have one here, right on!

Wendy: You can't be serious.

Stan: So, they have guns and we need guns. I don't see the problem.

Wendy: Getting shot comes to mind!

Stan: Blah blah Bullets Blah Blah, I just flew through a f*cking plane!

Wendy: Also a sh*tty idea...

Stan: Woah...Kyle, where did you come from. i thought I was talking to Wendy.

Wendy: Not cool.

Stan: Cause Kyle, well that guy bitches about everything...

Wendy: Alright, alright, we'll pick a fight with the military.

Stan: Good times.

Stan continues driving down a street.

Wendy: Wow, that still exists?

Stan: What?

Wendy: That's where I used to score weed.

Stan: Anyone from spring break still around?

Wendy: Yeah, I keep up with one of my ex's.

Stan: His place big enough for the crew?

Wendy: Already offered it to Kyle and the boys.

Wendy and Stan reach the gun store.

Wendy: Here's the cash I have on me.

Stan uses the cash to buy a pistol from the store.

Stan: Where's this armory?

Wendy: Not far, it's on the GPS.

Stan and Wendy get in the car and begin to drive towards the armory. After a short drive, they reach the armory.

Wendy: Alright, the guns should be in that warehouse.

Military guards in the base open fire on their vehicle. Stan and Wendy exit the vehicle and fire back.

Stan: How we moving everything?

Wendy: Maybe you should have thought of that before attacking an armory?

Stan: Yeah, seriously, how we gonna do it?

Wendy: Don't worry, Kyle has it covered.

Military troops shoot at them from behind a closed gate.

Stan: Guess there not letting us in.

Wendy: Shooting them probably doesn't help change their mind.

Stan blows the gate and they head towards a warehouse. A huge bomb is in the main yard.

Wendy: Bet that's a hell of a way to end a gun fight.

Stan: Good idea, we'll take it and find out.

Wendy: Yeah right,'re serious aren't you?

The Souths shoot the remaining guards in the warehouse and reach a table with laptops and guns.

Wendy: Here's the weapons cache, and these look like UAV drone controls.

Stan: Looks like UAV drone controls? Who the f*ck says that?

Wendy: Is this really the time.

A large group of Humvees pulls up outside the warehouse. Dozens of soldiers attack them. Stan uses crates for cover and shoots back with a stolen assault rifle.

Stan: This really seemed like a better idea earlier on!

Wendy: You think?

Wendy grabs her phone and dials Kyle.

Wendy: Kyle, where the hell are you?

Kyle: You know me, I always like to make an entrance.

4 Souths helicopters fly over. Souths on the side of the choppers shoot down at the guards and kill them all. More trucks and tanks approach the armory.

Wendy: If we're staying then maybe we should try those UAV drones.

Stan: Again with the 'UAV drones'.

Stan grabs a drone control and links with drone over the armory. He begins sending missiles down on enemy soldiers as the Souths load guns and ammo into the choppers.

Kyle: Why aren't you getting the hell out of here.

Wendy: Stan won't leave without the bomb.

Kyle: You gotta be kidding me!

Stan: Less bitching, more shooting!

Stan blows up incoming tanks with the UAV drone.

Wendy: You think we got enough guns?

Stan: No such thing!

Wendy: So once we're loaded up, we're going after Pip, right?

Stan: Don't worry, I got a plan.

More tanks arrive, Stan blows them up but more follow.

Stan: How's it coming, Kyle?

Kyle: Almost packed up. All set, get in the chopper.

Stan and Wendy head to the choppers and they take off. Kyle's transport chopper is carrying the bomb while Stan and Wendy are shooting out the side of another using Machine Guns. A huge flight of helicopters attack the Souths.

Kyle: Damm, these guys are a pain n my ass!

Wendy: We can't let them blow up the bomb...or Kyle. That'll be bad.

Stan and Wendy shoot at the choppers as they attack.

Kyle: Still getting hit here!

Wendy: Keep it steady!

Stan shoots a chopper and it slams into another chopper.

Wendy: Nice!

Kyle: I don't think these dials are meant to be spinning like this!

Wendy: i see my ex's place, put us down over there.

Kyle: there gonna be enough room for this sh*t, right?

Stan: Maybe?

The choppers land on the roof...

Inside, later on...

Stan and Kyle have guns and explosives all over the apartment. Wendy walks in.

Wendy: So what's next?

Stan: What's next is you go back to Denver

Wendy: What? No, this is my fight too!

Kyle: Girl, you don't get messy. Let us take care of business.

Wendy: f*ck you! I'm doing this for Token!

Stan: Fine. But if we're bringing in the boys, we're gonna need a new place.

Wendy: You're worried about real estate? We got guns, let's use them.

Stan: Relax, Wendy. We got it all covered...
Germans seem to really like starting sh*t but it's cool 'cause its not like they ever win.

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