First Blood First Serve Part 2 Chapter 14

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Nick Assburger
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Joined: Tue Jul 05, 2011 1:33 am

First Blood First Serve Part 2 Chapter 14

Postby Nick Assburger » Fri Apr 25, 2014 2:38 pm

(Return from Commercial.)

Narrator: "Previously on South Park."

Mr Graizer: "Are you scared little man cause this big bad Scout Master is about to RAPE YOUR ASS!"

Conner: "I eat Scout Master's for breakfast and RIGHT NOW I'M VERY HUNGRY."

They fight which ends with Mr Graizer taking a knife to the groin and being finished off by Conner with series of reverse roundhouse kicks sending him into the punji pit.

Connelly: "Yes Yes Muhahahahahahaha! the time of our fruity little club's destiny is at hand."

Kyle: "Chef please you can't let them do this to you your not a pedophile your our friend."

Darth Chef: "Do not despair children soon the chosen one's power will be ours and then we can go back to my bed and make sweet love."

Kyle: "Then your dead Chef your truly dead and your never ever coming back." He sheds a tear.

Conner and Benjamin race thru the burning forest.

Conner: "Which way is out of here?"

Benjamin: "This way."

Benjamin?: "Don't slow down."

They reach the end of the rainforest only to be caught in the searchlight of Connelly's Hind."

Conner: "sh*t! What do we do now?"

Stripe: "The Wormhole is open."

Craig: "Oh sh*t what the hell is this?"

Stripe: "This is your destiny!"

They are sucked into the wormhole and pulled back to Earth.

Craig: "I don't to be the Chosen one anymorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre!"

Narrator: "And now the stirring Climax."

Connelly: "Oh yes."

Narrator: "Ew way to kill to the moment."

Craig falls back to earth and appears on the Altar stone wearing Incan garbs and an Incan patterned version of his Chullo hat."

Craig: Throws up. "I'm back here again Fan f*cking tastic." He looks around seeing the boys tied up on sticks the quintuplets in slave leia bikinis and and an armed group of explorers some of whom have their pants down.

"What's going on here?"

Connelly Grabs him from behind.

"What the hell?"

Connelly: "Finally the chosen one is in my hands!"

He begins taking off Craig's pants.

Craig: "What the hell are you doing stop Help Help!! I need an adult! I need an Adult!!!!"

Connelly: "I am an adult."

Craig: "An adult other than this creepy explorer guy!"

Cartman: "I know we're all going to die and everything but still this makes it all worthwhile."

Craig: "f*ck you Fatty Fudge f*cker!" He shoots lightening out his eyes at Cartman. "Wait what am I doing I've got kickass lightening vision." He looks at Connelly and charges up his eyes. "Respect my Chosen one authoritargh!!!!"

Darth Chef applies his force grope to Craig's junk causing his eyes to revert to normal.

Craig: High pitched voice "Oh f*ck."

Cartman breaks down laughing.

Craig: High pitched voice "f*ck you guys f*ck you all!"

Cartman laughs even harder.

Connelly unzips his pants revealing his blurred out junk.

Connelly: "Yes Chosen One struggle all you like I can feel the marloks in you tender body on the tip of my penis.

A small bolt of blue lightening shoots out of Craig's butt and into the tip of Connelly's penis causing Craig immense pain.

Cartman: Stops laughing abruptly "Oh sh*t that's right we're next."

Christophe: "Gentlemen I'm afraid to say z'hat we are without a doubt f*cked."

Gregory: "Yep it sure looks that way doesn't it."

Kyle: pleadingly "Chef please help him for god's sake he's our friend your friend this isn't you."

Stan: "Whenever we had trouble we turned to you for advice and you'd help us out with whatever we were dealing with."

Kyle: tearing up. "This isn't who you are this fruity club scrambled our brains and changed you. Wake up Chef Wake up!"

Stan: Turns toward the screen. "Everyone out there if you believe in true friendship then say it with us Wake up Chef Wake Up!"

Cartman: "Dude what are you doing?"

Stan: "I dunno I'm desperate and I don't want to be raped in the ass."

Craig: "A little late for me."

Gregory: "Figures never send a boy to do a man's job."

An Explorer walks up to Gregory and takes off his pants.

Explorer: Cockney accent. "E'llo love how's about a peck on the head?"

Gregory: Terrified: "Th-then again th-there's no points off for trying I suppose YARGH!!"

Connelly: "Sorry boys you came so far and yet far enough it's been a good hunt but all good things come to an end."

In the distance Connelly's Hind appears in the distance.

Connelly: "Ah Graizer's back from the hunt I see fashionably late as usual."

Stan: "Oh my God Conner."

Connelly: "Yes I'm afraid boys that your little soldier friend is nothing more shriveled up prune of his former self If I know Graizer then there's probably not a single marlok left in him."

The Hind pilot presses a button on the flight stick and launches a rocket barrage at the temple blowing up two trucks full of SAC soldiers.

Connelly: "THE f*ck?!"

Conner is in the cockpit of the hind with Benjamin sitting in front of him.


Benjamin: "Ha ha ha ha."

Stan: "It's Conner He's alive!"

Kyle: "He made it."

Gregory: "About Bloody time."

Christophe: "Another minute and Gregory would buggered for sure."

Gregory: "Aw sod off Christophe."

Conner opens up the gunship's rocket pods and cannon on the Super Adventure Club blowing up tanks, trucks and soldiers

Connelly: "Don't just stand there you dolts bring him down!"

The Super Adventure Club soldiers take out M72 Rocket launchers and take open fire on Conner's gunship one rocket almost hitting the tail rotor and shaking the helicopter.

Benjamin: "sh*t that was too close we have to set her down."

Conner sets the Gunship down at the bottom of the temple and is almost immediately surrounded by the surrounding Super Adventure Club soldiers.

Benjamin? :"Get on the side turret and hold them off."

Conner climbs out of the cockpit and into the cabin he loads the side mounted machine gun and begins firing on the enemy.

In the midst of the chaos The Quintuplets take the opportunity to slip over to the boys and untie them.

Quintuplet: Unties Stan "Just hold still a moment."

The other 4 untie the rest of the boys.

Stan: "Wow thanks."

Kyle: "So we're cool now right?"

Quintuplet: "We still hate you but not as much."

The girls are suddenly thrust against a wall by force shove.

Darth Chef: Holds Kelly hostage with his light spatula to her throat. "Hello there children how would you like to suck my chocolate salty balls and I'm not talking about my testicles."

Kenny: ("Kelly!")

Kelly: "Lenny help me."

Kyle: "Let her go Chef."

Darth Chef: "I'll let her go Kyle if you let me sodomize your tight little jew ass."

Kyle: Holds his butt tight "Chef sick!"

Kenny: Picks up a stick ("Let her go Chef this is between you and me.")

Darth Chef: "If that is your destiny so be it." He drops Kelly who rushes over to Kenny's side.

Kelly: "Oh Lenny I was so scared."

Kenny: ("It's okay baby I got you now.") He looks over to the others and pulls his hood down. "Get everyone down the steps I'll hold Chef off."

Kyle: "Kenny No that's exactly what he wants."

Kenny: "No Kyle this is something I have to do."

Kelly: "Lenny you can't leave me."

Kenny: " Kelly I promise I'll make it back."

Christophe: "Kyle We have to go now Conner needs our help."

Cartman: "Yeah Jew besides I've got a score to settle with these butt pirates." Picks up an M60."

Craig : "Uh Guys a little help here?"

Kyle: "Craig!"

Stan: "Oh yeah I totally forgot about him."


Stan: "Okay new plan Kenny fights Chef the rest of us save Craig."

Craig: "That's better now hurry up!....please!"

Stan: "Gregory Get down there and help out Conner."

Gregory: Draws his sword. "You can count on me Stan."

Stan: "Yeah yeah yeah just get going already."

Meanwhile at the foot of the temple Conner continues to hold off the advancing soldiers with the turret unfortunately he runs out of ammo.

Conner: "I'm out!" He opens the gun and attempts to reload a new belt into it but suddenly a shot rings out and Conner grabs his shoulder in pain. "ARRGH!" He grabs his pistol and fires several times hitting a soldier before another one kicks the gun out of his hand and bashes him in the head with his rifle stock."

Soldier: presses his rifle to Conner's face. "Say Goodbye you little Sod."

Gregory: "CHARGE!"

Christophe: "Attaque!" (French for Attack.)

Soldier: "What the?"

The choir kids throw rocks at the soldiers down below.

Peruvian soldier: "Grenada!"

The soldiers thinking there being showered with grenades run for cover.

Conner: Gets up and stabs the soldier in leg and neck with his ka bar. "Hello Deus Ex Machinema!" He picks up the soldiers M1 rifle and loads a rifle grenade onto it. "Frag out!" He launches a grenade at the soldiers below blowing up a Jeep before getting back on the helicopter turret, reloading it and resumes raining lead on the remaining soldiers until the last one falls dead.

Gregory: "It's all clear lets move!"

Gregory and The Mole lead the choir and the quintuplets down the temple steps to the waiting helicopter.

Conner: "Where's Stan and his friends?"

Gregory: points to the shining light on top of the pyramid "Still at the top of the temple."

Conner: "Alright get everyone in the back."

Kelly: "What about Lenny?"

Conner:" We give them 15 minutes If they're not down by then then we'll have to leave without them.."

Kelly: "What? You can't do that."

The temple shakes and rumbles.

Tommy: "I don't think we have much choice Kelly."

Conner: "Alright everyone in the passenger cabin Christophe can you man the side mounted gun?"

Christophe: "E't would be a pleasure."

The choir boards the helicopter while on the ground a sound of barking fills the air.

Christophe: "Dogs!"

A pack of vicious dogs appear and charge toward the choir.

Christophe: "Con'ner Greg'ory get z'he chopper ready to go." He unsheathes his shovel."

Gregory: "You remember what happened the last time this happened?"

Christophe: "All too well Mon Amie z'here is no time to talk just get everyone on board and go."

Gregory: "Christophe!"

Conner: Puts his hand on Gregory's shoulder. "Let him go."

Gregory: "But?"

Conner: "His mind is made up."

Gregory: "Christophe?"

Christophe: "Oui?"

Gregory: "Give E'm Hell"

The dogs charge toward Christophe as the rest of the choir boards the helicopter and prepares to lift off.

At the same time on top of the temple Kenny duels with Darth Chef while the boys try to rescue Craig.

Kenny starts off bad when Darth Chef's light spatula cut his stick in half in one blow forcing Kenny to dodge and avoid his blows.

Darth Chef: "You cannot run forever!" He picks up a stone pillar with the force and throws it toward Kenny."

Kenny: Gets hit by the pillar and smashed into a wall.

Stan: "Oh my god Chef killed Kenny!"

Kyle: "You bastard!"

Kenny: Pushes off the pillar and stands up. "I'm not Quite dead. How do I look?" His face is smashed his nose is broken and he's missing several teeth."

Cartman: "Looking good Bra!"

Darth Chef: "Impressive Most impressive."

Kenny: "You'll find I'm full of surprises." He takes a ninja stance "Spin Blossum Nut Squash!" He spins like a top toward Chef."

Darth Chef: "Suck my Shiny Metal Robot BALLS!!!" Kenny crashes into his groin. "Ow my Shiny Metal Robot Balls!" He goes down.

Kenny quickly picks up his spatula and closes in Chef tries to grope Kenny's balls but Kenny cuts off his hand."

Darth Chef: "ARRGH! My Metal Robot Groping Hand!"

Cartman Stan and Kyle and Kenny rush in to free Craig.

Craig: "Hurry up you assh*les!"

Kenny manages to cut Craig loose from the altar before they are electrocuted by lightening from Connelly's balls.

The Boys: Scream in intense pain.

Connelly: "Very impressive boys you've managed to thwart my plans at every turn but alas all for nought I've collected enough of your friends Marloks to finish you for good." He gives them a larger jolt.

The Boys: Scream in intense pain.

Connelly: "What have you got to say for yourselves?" He electrocutes them again. blowing up my prison camp freeing my choir tour killing our club members and ruining all my wonderful plans." He electrocutes them again. "

The boys scream in pain tears flowing from their eyes.

Connelly: "Now young ones you will die." He unleashes his largest blast yet causing the boys agonizing pain.

Kyle: tearing pain "Chef....Help us!" Tears roll down his face.

Darth Chef: Looks on the boys suffer in agony at the hands of his master feels something rise up inside him. He grabs Connelly and lifts him up.

Connelly: "Chef what are you doing? Put me down this instant!" The Mechanical custodian ignores the electricity shooting from Connelly's penis into his as he drags over to the edge of the pyramid. "Chef Stop this desist I'm warning you you'll go straight to the hole for this! No NO NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Chef throws him off the the top of the pyramid where he is impaled on a branch and explodes into a mass of blue light but not before voiding his bowels.

Darth Chef: Breathing irregularly he collapses to his knees. The boys seeing him in pain help him up.

Kyle: "Chef You did it you saved us!"

Stan: "Yeah way to go Chef!"

Cartman: "Your the best Chef!"

Chef collapses to the ground in pain.

Kenny: "What's wrong Chef?"

Darth Chef: "Children help me take this mask off."

Stan: "But Chef You'll die."

Darth Chef: "Nothing can change that now please let me look on you with my own eyes."

The boys remove his metal chef's hat and mask revealing the half torn face of their old School cafeteria chef.

Chef: "Now Go Children."

Kyle: "You can't die Chef We're supposed to save you!"

The gunship appears overhead carrying Conner and La Resistance.

Chef: "You already have children." His voice grows weaker as his life support systems fail. "N..ow.....Go.....Chil....dren." His life support suit fails and his eyes close."


Chef voids his bowels.

Craig: "Aw gross."

The gunship settles next to the top of the pyramid as the doors open.

Gregory: "Come on we've got to get out of here!"

Kyle: "We can't leave Chef behind!"

"The Temple continues to collapse."

Conner: "There's no time this whole place is coming down!"

The quintuplets form a human bridge to the helicopter and the boys bring Chef across to the cabin.

Stan: "Alright that's everyone lets go!"


Gregory: "Is that?"

Christophe Comes racing up the top of the temple riding an Rhodesian Ridgeback like a Cowboy Clown at a Quebec rodeo."

Quintuplet: "It's the Mole!"

Gregory: "He's alive!"

Christophe and the Dog pack come thundering across the Quintuplet's back and into the gunship. The girls swing themselves one by one back into the cabin and close the door.

Gregory: Hugs The Mole tight. "Christophe how did you do it."

Christophe: "I came prepared z'his time." He holds up a dog whistle. " Ever since I came back I've kept z'his dog whistle hidden up my ass." He holds up the smelly dog whistle.

Everyone repulses in disgust.

Quintuplets: Scream "Eh brut" ((Romanian for Ew Gross.))

Gregory: "For Gods Sake Christophe put that away."

Conner: "Everyone Hang On!"

The gunship pulls away in the nick of time as the pyramid collapses and explodes in a massive blue light.

Later as the sun rises over the Andes as Day By Day From Rambo Part 2 plays.

The helicopter flies over the mountains with the missing choir inside.

Conner: "Milkman to Dairyland Milkman to Dairyland come in Dairyland."

Back in the ops center the word comes in over the intercom.

Conner: "Dairyland this is Milkman do you copy Dairyland?"

Sergeant Halfcock Mrs Garthunk and The Company President hear the phrase over the radio.

Sergeant Halfcock: Picks up the headset. "We hear you loud and clear talk to me Conner."

Conner: "Mission Accomplished Missing Choir secured The Quintuplets too RTB to Chavez National Airport in 3 hours."

The President and Mrs Garthunk's faces light up and they hug tightly.

Sergeant Halfcock: "Roger that Conner we'll have a flight waiting at the airport when you arrive over."

The helicopter flies off into the sunrise.

{Cut to Commercial.}
Posts: 382
Joined: Mon Aug 18, 2014 12:26 am

Re: First Blood First Serve Part 2 Chapter 14

Postby agent-FSS » Wed Aug 20, 2014 10:01 pm

I`m surprised. Good script turned out... for an amateur. The third part will not be superfluous.

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