Fav "Quote" South Park

[Butters1990]

hehehe.

Im not drinking while im driving, Im driving while im drinking write boys

[ProfChaos42]

"We're your family, too. When we look at you, we don't see the testicles on your chin. We see the testicles.. in your heart."

[Lord Worm]

Dog whisperer:i can still tell from his stance hes still aggressive
CARTMAN:suck my assh*le tacobender

[xXProSkittlesXx]

-doorbell rings
"Mom someones at the door."- Cartman
- mom doesnt get the door
"MOM! Someones at the Door." - Cartman
- mom still doesnt get the door
"GOD DAMNIT LAZY ASS WHORE" - Cartman

[Butters1990]

Cartman Gets a Anal Probe: 101

Kyle: Ike, you can't come to school with me. [Ike chortles]
Cartman: Yeah, go home you little dildo.
Kyle: Dude, don't call my brother a dildo!
Stan: What's a dildo?!
Kyle: Well, I don't know… [faces Cartman and points at him] and I'll bet Cartman doesn't know either!
Cartman: I know what it means!
Kyle: Well, what?
Cartman: I'm not telling you.
Stan: What's a dildo Kenny?
Kenny: (It's a giant stick that goes inside the mom's vagina) [the others laugh]

Classic.

[Craig..l..rulz]

Jesus: yay look upon me and know me, my children you should know somthing......Im Packing

and my sig is a good one.


also the one from Die Hippies Die

Cartman: And your going to be down here a lil longer just run with it

Hippy: Just run with it? we've been down here for 5 days

Cartman: Thats to bad heres some joints and your guitar

[DVDSTOYS.COM]

what episode did mr mcmacky say drugs are bad?

[mdub87]

just read my sig. That whole Fat Albert parody in the Clubhouses episode is still f***ing hilarious:

"Why's yo eye all black and blue and s***?"

"Stepdad? You gotta off his ass! Snatch his ass in a bear trap and leave that motherf***er swingin' from a tree so high, nobody finds him for days! Glock, glock, know what I'm sayin'? Dumb ass n**** pullin' s***, damn!"

[butters489]

"Damn your black heart, Barbara Streisand."



Randy: There's more to life than profits!

Runs with Premise: Well like what?

Randy: Well like, you know, Slurpees and stuff.

[landamo]

"I want to get on my knees and start pleasing Jesus, I want to feel his salvation all over my face"

Lyrics from a Faith+1 song

[KissArmyStarChild]

Cartman: It's all cause Kyle's mom's a big fat stupid.....
Kyle: Don't say it Cartman!
Cartman: Welllllllllllllllllllllll
Kyle: I'm Warning You!
Cartman: Ok, Ok
Kyle: I'm Gettin tired of him callin my mom a.....
Cartman:Weeelllll,

Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch,
She's a bitch to all the boys and girls.

On Monday she's a bitch
On Tuesday she's a bitch
On Wednesday thru Saturday she's a bitch
Then on Sunday just to be different,
Shes u super king kamehameha bitch

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch
She's a stupid bitch, Kyle's Mom's a bitch,
And she's such a dirty bitch.

Talk to kids around the world,
It might go a little something like this...

[Sung in three different languages by other children]

Have you ever met my friend Kyle's Mom,
She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world,
She's a mean old bitch, she has stupid hair,
She's a bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch
Bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.
She's a stupid bitch, Kyle's Mom's a bitch,
And she's such a dirty bitch;

I really mean it,
Kyle's Mom, she's a big fat, stinking bitch
Big old fat f*ckin' bitch, Kyle's Mommmmmmmmmmm
Yeahhhhh, Chaaaaa

[Butters Stotch100]

Cartman: Ay dont call me fat you fucken jew, respect my goddamn athorit-ah!!


Stan: Holy sh*t dude, Dude this is pretty f*cked up right here.

Kyle: You cant say f*ck in school you fucken fat ass!

Butters: Ahh its all gooey, hey there have you heard about my robot friend (song)

[Jay C]

Scott: "A haiku, depicting Dr. Maguire's death.

Dr. Maguire
Time to have your head smashed in
With my new hammer"

___________

Mr. Garrison: Ok children, today we're going to learn all about Japanise poems called Haiku. A haiku is just like a normal American poem, except that it doesn't rhyme, and it's totally stupid. For example- uh... where's Eric Cartman?

Stan: That's a haiku???

Mr. Garrison: No, I'm asking why Eric Cartman isn't in school.

Stan: Oh.

Mr. Garrison: Was the on the schoolbus this morning?

Stan: No.

Kyle: Fatass Cartman was,
Not on the schoolbus today.
What a big fat turd.

Mr. Garrison: Oh, very good haiku Kyle. Yes, haiku's have five syllables, then seven, then five. Kenny, can you give us another example?

Kenny: *Says his haiku, but it's almost impossible to understand as it's too muffled*

[Everybody in class laughs]

Stan: What's a discharge?

Kyle: Mr. Garrison, since haikus suck so much ass, can we go back to the planeterium again?

Stan: Yeah I wanna go to the planeterium again too!

Mr. Garrison: But you were just there, why do you want to go again so soon?

[Long pause]

Stan: ... yeah why do we wanna go again so soon?

Kyle: I don't know, I just have this sudden urge to go back.

Mr. Garrison: Well I guess we can go again, since it's just down the street-

[Cartman walks in]

Cartman: Well hello, it's all my little friends, with all their little dreams.

Mr. Garrison: Eric, where have you been?

Cartman: Lets see where have I been? Where have I been?

Stan: Where have you been Cartman?

Cartman: Well I might have been over at the Cheesy Puff call backs... winning regional championships!

[Classroom gasps]

Cartman: This is my regional championship certificate, do you like it? Say where's your regional champion certificate Clyde? Oh you don't have one? Hmm... do you have a regional certificate Wendy? No??? Apparently only I do.

Kyle: Ass full of pork fat
Jiggles like a jello mould
Mouth is flapping too.

Cartman: Your haiku insults have no effect on me Kyle, I'm regional champion.

Stan: Does that mean you're gonna be on that Cheesy Poof commercial?

Cartman: It's between me and four other kids. I'm on my way now with my mom to the final.

Kyle: I bet you don't win.
They don't let big fat asses,
Perform on TV.

Mr. Garrison: Very good Kyle.

Cartman: Shut your god damn mouth
Or else I'm... gonna... kick you...
Squa... in the balls... assh*le... Ah damnit!

[MixStan]

Cartman: Hey dudes.
Stan: What's the matter Cartman?
Cartman: It's this V-Chip. I hate it. I can't say any dirty words.
Kyle: Really? So you can't say, "f*ck?"
Cartman: No.
Kyle:And you can't say, "sh*t?"
Cartman: Nope.
Kyle: So you can't say, "I'm Eric Cartman, the fattest f*cking piece of sh*t in the world?"
Cartman: F*ck you! AHH!
Kyle: Dude! Sweet!

-The Movie

[SerialGoth]

"I AM HENNEEEFER LOPEZZZZZZZZZ.... I LOVE TACOS AND BURRITOS!!!!"
One of my super-all time favorites comes from The Movie though- it's this classic exchange between Cartman and Stan:
Stan:"Do any of you guys know where I can find the CLITORIS?"
Cartman: "What, is that like finding Jesus or something?"
Cracks me up every time.