*1009: Mystery of the Urinal Deuce*

Discuss new episodes without ruining them for people in other time zones.

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Postby CartmanClone69 » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:20 am

this could be a very controversial episode but im glad theyre making it. a lot of people have been babies when it comes to talking about 9/11 they say that you cant say anything bad or different about it. i think a lot of people i know need to get over it because none of the people i know lost anyone that day so they have less to mourn.
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9/11 Mystery

Postby divergentfilms » Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:36 am

Possible Plot Synopsis:

Cartman implicates the International Banking syndicate, and various corporations that benefitted from the 9/11 attacks, like AIG, Kroll Associates, Brown Brothers Harriman, Dyncorp and just about every major bank in the United States (a company owned by the Bank of England - created in 1868 - you can look it up! George W. Bush is the President of that Company, United States, and all Employees of the Company are called Citizens... just so you know... it's not theory, it's fact...

Google - "The Occult World of Commerce" and educate yourself.

Of course, Cartman will insist it is the "Zionists" who are responsible for the 9/11 attacks, which will make Kyle think he means, "the Jews", which will pit Kyle VS. Cartman, with Stan taking Kyle's side. But then as Kyle and Stan do more research and find out about the Controlled Demolition of the WTC buildings, 1, 2 and 7, (yes, Building 7, a 47 Story Steel building collapsed into it's own footprint, and it wasn't hit by a plane, and was the FURTHEST building from the 2 Towers.), Stan starts to believe Cartman, who then takes advantage of Stan, feeding his head with crazy conspiracies, like, The Gulf of Tonkin was faked, the Project for the New American Century think tank writing in desire of a "New Pearl Harbour" to increase military spending in Sept. 2000, and even Operation Northwoods, an operation approved by William McNamara, but rejected by John F Kennedy, whereby the government would perform self-inflicted terror attacks and blame them on Cuba as a pretext for war - this document is declassified and available at the National Security Archives. Again, not conspiracy THEORY, but conspiracy FACT.

And finally, as Stan is fooled into blaming "the Jews" for 9/11, crazy mad hoppin Mel Gibson shows up dressed as a Mayan warrior, and gets behind Cartman's cause, which scares off Stan.

Cartman and Mel Gibson unite and promote Holocaust denial, which discredits the entire 9/11 movement as crazy wacky anti-semites.

Everyone goes back to trusting the government, and they gleefully line up for their RFID Chip, BirdFlu "medication", and Amero-currency Debit Card, and we all live happily ever after in a Brave New World.

Cue the Primus music, and roll credits.

Of course, this will all be dismissed with insults instead of rational debate, or creative appreciation.

But if you like to THINK- If you can feel that there is something wrong with this government, and know it's deeper than just lying to be in Iraq, deeper than tapping phones, deeper than the Left/Right Paradigm of Political thought...

Debunk this one - 911 Mysteries : Controlled Demolition
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 1483512003

Peace and respect;
“A truth's initial commotion is directly proportional to how deeply the lie was believed. When a well packaged web of lies has been carefully sold to the masses, the truth will seem utterly preposterous, and its speaker a raving lunatic.” -Dresden James
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Postby AesopRockOn » Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:56 am

Mr. Mackey: I'm really looking forward to this next episode...and danielprive6 is gay.
What's the matter? Was your mother abusive? Did she slap your thighs with cold cuts and stick umbrellas up your ass?
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Postby MyGod » Wed Oct 11, 2006 5:29 am

As long as the episode is funny. I would be disappointed if they *seriously* (it is ok to joke) took sides with one of these conspiracy theories. I don't claim to be an expert, but none of the conspiracy theories quite add up for me.
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Postby germanguy » Wed Oct 11, 2006 5:38 am

Just wanted to say:

When I take a look at some of the southprk-networks
and fansites around the world and watch all these countdowns...
After the last episode the whole world seems to be
waiting for 1009...

1008 will be hard to beat alltough...

Really looking forward.
"Meine Damen und Herren,
das Gebäude ist umstellt!
Kommen Sie mit erhobenen
Händen heraus!"
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Postby gooneh » Wed Oct 11, 2006 9:55 am

wait a minute, how can they make fun of 9/11 conspiracies? it hasn't been 22.3 years yet :tweek: :P


(im sure there's a flaw in that arguement :P)
anyway, looking forward to it...who knows they might pull the show at the last minute and just show a full terrance and phillip thing instead :o
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Postby Levani » Wed Oct 11, 2006 1:21 pm

well we dont have to worry about tom cruise,he is busy suing vibrator company for putting his picture on every vibrator they made.anyway i hope this episode wont be too political,little i guess is always good,remember some great south park episodes were political,like "ladder to heaven"
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Postby simiantality » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:18 pm

Hey guys, first time poster here. As of the past month or two, I'm one of the "9/11 conspiracy nuts." For the record, there are more of us than Bush approvers right now. Forgive the length of this post, and its preachy nature. I created the following as a readme file for a collection of various videos supporting the hypothesis of governmental complicity in the 9/11 attacks. Anyone that would like this file as an html to email to someone, just send me a pm via these forums. Please keep the discourse here civil, I mean no disrespect towards the victims or their families.
Was the Bush Administration Complicit in the 9/11 Attacks?

This compilation was created to explore the hypothesis that the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001 were orchestrated in part by members of the Bush administration and their cronies. As far-fetched and paranoid as many conspiracy theories can be, this particular hypothesis does seem to have more supporting evidence than the report published by the 9/11 commission. We will present much of this evidence in the form of videos made available on the internet. We will also, where possible, provide downloaded printed materials as references to these videos. The references we have included are in no way complete, due to personal time constraints, but we have attempted to include the most important materials.

This compilation is not meant to serve as propaganda or disinformation. All viewers are encouraged, in the strongest possible terms, to do their own research on this material. This compilation, while providing extensive evidence over many hours of film, is meant to serve only as a starting point; it is in no way complete. Please view everything about 9/11 with skepticism, including the information presented here.


For many years following the 9/11 attacks, I saw suspicious behavior from our government officials, especially those in the current presidential administration. However, I dismissed this behavior as incompetence or lies to cover up that incompetence. Given President G.W. Bush's obvious inability to formulate coherent statements, this was not difficult.

Recently, however, my interest was piqued to look again at the events of 9/11 and its aftermath. On July 29, 2006, C-Span1 aired a video of a conference in LA entitled The 9/11 American Scholars Symposium. As luck would have it, I happened to flip by it on the tv, and it changed everything for me. Now that we are approaching the 5th anniversary of the attacks, more and more information is surfacing that contradicts, or points out inconsistencies in the official story.

Let me reiterate the fact that this compilation is not meant as a peice of political propaganda. This is not an issue of conservatism vs. liberalism, of religion vs. secularism, of the left vs. the right. The current administration and its neo-con supporters are not conservatives. They are not true Republicans. They are not Christians. George W. Bush's philosophy and family fortune came directly from the Nazis and his grandfather's participation in the Nazi war machine. This administration uses fear to intimidate the public into surrendering our rights as Americans, those rights initially protected by our founding fathers in the Bill of Rights. The same technique was used by the Nazi's to usurp Germany's democratic government in the 1930's. Many of the events that have transpired under the Bush administration have eerie parallels with events that occured in Germany just prior to WW2.

It is my hope that this compilation will do some part in waking up my friends, family, and fellow Americans in time to prevent an American despotism. The government can only subvert our rights through the use of fear, the constant focus on terror above all other issues, and recognizing this manipulation is the only way to fight back.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." - Franklin Delano Roosevelt

"And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free." - John 8:32

[center]The Videos[/center]

I have tried to organize these videos as best I can. Due to the independant nature of the development of these films, they overlap at times, and do not necessarily follow one to the other. I have laid them out in the order I would suggest viewing them, but feel free to view them in the order you like.


First, we'll start off with a look at Bush (and one video on Rumsfeld). These videos are relatively short, and are not evidence to support the hypothesis, but serve to point out a darker side of Bush and Pals.

George W. Bush vs. George W. Bush - Taken from the Daily Show. His foreign policies are 180 degrees opposite those he championed on the campaign trail. He sells his supporters one thing, and delivers another.

George W. Bush at the White House Correspondants' Dinner 2004 - Here is W. making light of the fact that there were never any WMDs in Iraq.

George W. Bush Drunk at a Party - In an unguarded moment, he responds to the question "God Bless America?" with "God Bless America? Yes. This being an election year, they're wonderful people. Fine taxpayers."

George W. Bush Giving the Finger - Self-explanatory.

Rumsfeld Lying about WMDs - Taken from the Daily Show.

The Bush Family's Nazi History - This is an excerpt from a longer video also included in this compilation ("Martial Law: 9/11..."). This is an interview with John Buchanan, who uncovered incontrovertible evidence of the Bush family's Nazi past.

The Nexus of Politics and Terror with Keith Olbermann - I didn't know exactly where to put this, but Keith Olbermann of MSNBC recaps the administration's transparent usage of terror to distract the American public at politically advantageous times.

Bush Plan to Destroy Fake UN Aircraft as Pretext for Iraq Invasion - Also Keith Olbermann, this is a clip about a memo leaked to the press. In this memo, Bush claims that the Iraq invasion will take place regardless of WMDs or not. He also suggests painting US planes to look like UN planes and fly them over Iraq in the hopes of getting them destroyed as a pretext for war.

Eisenhower's Farewell Address - President Eisenhower wisely warns the American people in his farewell address to the nation to safeguard against the rise to power of the military industrial complex. Cheney's CEOship of Halliburton would inarguably place him as a leader of this complex.

The Overviews

Now lets take a closer look at some evidence supporting the overall hypothesis of the Bush administration's complicity in the 9/11 attacks. These videos are stand-alone, and as such, they sometimes overlap in material covered.

The Great Conspiracy - This video by Barry Zwicker is a fairly comprehensive overview of the Bush-complicit hypothesis. It presents evidence in a clear and rational manner. After much deliberation, I decided to include this one first.

9/11 Revisited - This video begins with a good deal of 9/11 footage, both from news sources and personal camcorders. It follows this with a short clip of a news interview with Dr. Steven Jones, and more in depth talks by Dr. David Ray Griffin, Jeff King, and Dr. James Fetzer.

Loose Change 2nd Ed. - This video is the most popular of the 9/11 skeptics movement. The information is conveyed in a more emotional than scientific context at times. Given the ramifications of the hypothesis of governmental complicity, this is understandable. However, for this reason, this video was not included higher on the list.

Painful Deceptions - This video addresses the Pentagon attack and the impossibilities of a fire-induced collapse of the WTC buildings. Very easy to follow, but full of info.
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Postby simiantality » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:19 pm

More Details

The following videos are not organized as neatly as I would like, so feel free to pick your way through them. Some contain information that might not be readily digested by the average American, but I feel that each of these have very important peices of the puzzle. My original intention was to include a smaller number of videos, but I felt the need to include all of the following, as each has information I feel should not be left out of an objective analysis.

9/11 American Scholars Symposium- This video, which was aired on C-Span (note: this is not the exact C-Span feed, but otherwise is identical), contains a complementary introduction to the hypothesis. Dr. Steven Jones, Dr. Bob Bowman, Webster Tarpley, and Dr. James Fetzer all present a brief synopsis of their positions.

Steven Jones Interview - This is a 45 minute interview of Dr. Steven Jones. It provides much more extensive explanations of his hypothesis of the demolition of the World Trade Center buildings, especially WTC7.

Steven Jones Powerpoint Presentation - This 2 hour talk given by Dr. Jones goes much more in depth than the interview above. Highly recommended for engineers, scientists, or the technically inclined.

9/11 Controlled Demolition - This film provides a compilation of footage to support the demolition hypothesis. It duplicates the Jeff King information in the 9/11 Revisited Film above, so a viewer following these videos in the order I've suggested here can feel free to skip from the 1250 sec mark to 1825 sec.

What's The Truth?: How Indeed Did the Twin Towers Collapse? - This video contains primarily eyewitness testimony. I have included, I believe, all of the quotes archived by the NY Times in the documents folder for verification.

Confronting the Evidence - This video is from a conference, similar to the American Scholars Symposium above, but is more detailed and contains information not covered elsewhere. It also contains a large number clips from other videos, including some found elsewhere in this compilation.

9/11 Eyewitness - This is a video recorded by someone across the river in Hoboken. It contains evidence of explosions just prior to the towers' collapse. I'm skeptical of the vague point the video addresses with the helicopters at the beginning and the debris trajectory plotted, as the camera zooms in during the trajectory overlay. Otherwise, it is a good film.

Martial Law: 9/11 and the Rise of the Police State - This video also presents information in an emotional context. Alex Jones can be quite assertive in his views, and does espouse a more global root of the 9/11 attacks, which we are not ready to do here. However, he does present vital information not contained elsewhere; this is a must see.

David Shayler - This video is by an ex-MI:5 agent, who was arrested after blowing the whistle on a failed British attempt to assassinate Libyan leader Muammar al-Gaddafi.

The Truth and Lies of 9/11- This video is a speech given by ex-LAPD narc Micheal Ruppert that answers the 'qui bono?' of the 9/11 attacks. Given his background, this evidence is presented in the way that an officer would approach a DA in trying to get charges levelled. It highlights oil, gold and drugs as primary motivators.

Dick Cheney's Role - Another film with Mike Ruppert, this one presents information about the military exercises being held on the morning of 9/11, and official testimony given by Guiliani, which is very strong evidence that he and Vice President Cheney were directly involved in the attacks.

Osama Bin Laden's Confession - This is the uncut version of the video tape the U.S. government released showing Bin Laden's confession to the 9/11 attacks. We include this due to the fact that this is not actually Osama Bin Laden. In addition to looking like a different person, he speaks with a different voice, uses his opposite hand to write, and has a gold wedding ring, which is prohibited by Islam.


Please keep in mind that not all material presented in these videos should be blindly accepted as fact. There are a number of people who are naturally inclined to believe any conspiracy they can find, many of whom believe that the entire world is secretly puppeteered by the Illuminati (or whatever). This is not the viewpoint we are taking. It seems reasonable to believe, given our current knowledge of human behavior and history, that multiple factions will always struggle with one another for power, rather than be controlled centrally.

There seems to be a lot of bogus or half-true information out there about the 9/11 attacks, and this is true for both sides. The 9/11 truth movement has many supporters who do more harm to their cause than good. We would like to distance ourselves as much as possible from these people. Some of the videos included above have information that we are not ready to accept, and the number of videos that we considered for inclusion in this compilation exceeds those that we have actually selected. If the information presented here has instilled a desire to learn more (and we hope it has), be cautious and reasonable in your approach.

That said, it now seems that the Bush administration did, in fact, help to orchestrate the horrible attacks on that fateful day. It is our right, nay, our duty as Americans to confront this neo-con cabal before it is too late. Democracies have historically become complacent and corrupt, with the elected officials giving up their powers to a central figurehead, a Ceaser, if you will. It is not too late to stop this from happening. The neo-cons only have the power that we give them. Do not let them frighten us into submission, into trading liberty for "security".

We have to fight their lies with truth.

Knowledge is power.

"To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public." - Theodore Roosevelt

Additional Information and Random Links






Last edited by simiantality on Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Stuckinutero » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:30 pm

MyGod wrote:As long as the episode is funny. I would be disappointed if they *seriously* (it is ok to joke) took sides with one of these conspiracy theories. I don't claim to be an expert, but none of the conspiracy theories quite add up for me.

Im sad to say that Im really surprised to see your post. Most people buy into this sh*t hook, line and sinker. I have a very good sense of humor, and I really dont mind joking about 9/11. I thought the aristocrats skit they put together was hilarious. Some of us deal with our pain through humor.
I've lived in NY my whole life. This is my home and it always will be. It bothers me that the attacks where more or less some prime-time drama to alot of people in this country.

Ill make this short and sweet. Every single conspiracy theory related to 9/11 has been completely debunked by our pals over at Popular Mechanics. Everything from controlled demolition to the "fake plane" that crashed. It still blows my mind that people can whole-heartedly buy this crap without reading a single opposing argument.

Im only posting this because it seems like divergentfilms is using his/her info on the new ep to spread this bullsh*t. Simply. have some respect for those who lost their lives that day, and do your f*cking homework before you spew all this disrespectful bullsh*t.
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Postby simiantality » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:41 pm

Stuckinutero wrote:Ill make this short and sweet. Every single conspiracy theory related to 9/11 has been completely debunked by our pals over at Popular Mechanics. Everything from controlled demolition to the "fake plane" that crashed. It still blows my mind that people can whole-heartedly buy this crap without reading a single opposing argument.

I'm only posting this because it seems like divergentfilms is using his/her info on the new ep to spread this bullsh*t. Simply. have some respect for those who lost their lives that day, and do your f*cking homework before you spew all this disrespectful bullsh*t.

I don't mean any disrespect for the victims. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Nevertheless, the Popular Mechanics article that everyone cites as "irrefutable evidence" against the 9/11 stuff, is complete BS.

Yeah, it does tackle the wackiest of the conspiracy stuff, and there is a lot of it out there, to be sure. Most of the people that think there was a conspiracy don't accept a lot of the PM stuff as fact anyway.

However, it does not address any of the more serious concerns. Specifically, its address of the collapse of WTC7 is laughable at best. Even the NIST and FEMA reports of WTC7 are less conclusive than the PM article that cites them.

It sort of says "Hey, look at all this wackiness here! All conspiracy people believe all of this!".

For what its worth, a lot of the PM stuff has been refuted anyway:

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Postby ubergenius » Wed Oct 11, 2006 2:54 pm

While it may not be referencing September 11, 2001 in the description, I believe it is clearly not referencing a timestamp or anything. I believe it is a date, or something similarly formatted as a date: 9/11.

Interestingly enough, this is an issue that has not really been approached much by South Park, which has always suprised me, since they have never seemed to fear any subject matter, no matter how controversial. The closest they came was in Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants, which really didn't work with 9/11 directly at all, but rather the aftermath of the war in Afganistan and the hunt for Bin Laden, and somewhat international opinions of the US in the aftermath. While overly political episodes can become somewhat overwhelming for a comedic show, it will be nice to have Matt and Trey's sharp wit finally directed at this topic in some meaningful matter, even if only indirectly. And if the reference in the teasers is a datestamp, then it is most likely going to be about September 11, 2001 in some way, even if only indirectly via a parody.

Either way, after MLNW, I am highly confident that this episode will offer something hilarious and meaningful.
I aim to misbehave.
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Postby UnkieHerb » Wed Oct 11, 2006 3:38 pm

I think I already know what'll happen in this episode now that I know what a "Urinal Deuce" is:

Someone craps in a urinal on a day that happens to be 9/11, and Cartman thinks it's Kyle, so he goes around saying he knows who was behind 9/11. This results in a "Jared has Aids" style mix-up, with the US government thinking Cartman means the actual 9/11 attacks, and going after him. As for Stan and Kyle, I have no clue how they'll fit in. Ah well...
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Postby markawil » Wed Oct 11, 2006 5:12 pm

I figured this episode, and thread would attract these loose change type losers like flys on.... Thanks for your worthless effort above internet commando, hopefully this episode will be uber insulting to all of you and your jihadi apologists.

I personally can't wait. only 9 hours left...
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Re: 9/11 Mystery

Postby Aym_Dand » Wed Oct 11, 2006 5:13 pm

divergentfilms wrote:Possible Plot Synopsis:

Cartman implicates the International Banking syndicate, and various corporations that benefitted from the 9/11 attacks, like AIG, Kroll Associates, Brown Brothers...

blah blah blah...

Peace and respect;

That's great except none of it is funny at all and this is a comedy show.

My personal conspiracy theory is that Israel had the most to gain from the 9/11 attacks in that it got more Americans sympathetic to their plight, which would afford them further American-based weapons, and got them an active superpower in their fight against radical Islamism.

Cartman advocating such a theory would work thematically in the that they've seriously pissed off the Catholics, Mormons, Scientologists and Muslims in the past few years, so maybe now it's the hardcore Jews' turn.

As for all the conspiracy bullsh*t, there's absolutely no way in HELL any of that could happen. The staggering number of people it would take to bring such a vast conspiracy to fruition would make it impossible to keep said conspiracy a secret.

I predict it's a conspiracy theorist who is sh*tting in the urinal. And by that I mean it's actually Cartman himself.
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.



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