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The Random Simpsons Quotes Thread
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Homer: You suck-diddly-uck, Flanders!!
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Ralph: I bent my Wookiee.
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Chief Wiggum: Sorry, wrong number. This is 9-1-2. (hangs up phone)
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Ralph: I bent my Wookiee.
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Chief Wiggum: Sorry, wrong number. This is 9-1-2. (hangs up phone)
Come see what I've been doing at:
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http://www.youtube.com/user/IJustWatchEm71
AngusArt updated 4/9/17.
http://angusmctavish.deviantart.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/IJustWatchEm71
AngusArt updated 4/9/17.
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AngusMcTavish wrote:Chief Wiggum: Sorry, wrong number. This is 9-1-2. (hangs up phone)
I always thought this ^^ quote from Dog of Death was interesting because a couple seasons later in the Stonecutters episode (Homer the Great), Lenny tells Homer, "...don't bother dialing 9-1-1 anymore. Here's the real number." and hands him a card that says 9-1-2.
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Lenny: They say he carved it himself... from a bigger spoon.
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Moe: Well if you're so sure what it ain't, how about telling us what it am!
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Bart: And I'll take up smoking, and give that up!
Homer: Good job, boy. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Here, have a dollar.
Lisa: But he didn't DO anything!
Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? ... Hey, he didn't! (Snatches the dollar back.)
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Lisa: Why don't you just EAT HIM, Dad?!
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Sign Gag: Hairy Shearers
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Homer: Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
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Moe: Well if you're so sure what it ain't, how about telling us what it am!
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Bart: And I'll take up smoking, and give that up!
Homer: Good job, boy. Quitting smoking is one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do. Here, have a dollar.
Lisa: But he didn't DO anything!
Homer: Didn't he, Lisa? Didn't he? ... Hey, he didn't! (Snatches the dollar back.)
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Lisa: Why don't you just EAT HIM, Dad?!
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Sign Gag: Hairy Shearers
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Homer: Let us celebrate our new arrangement with the adding of chocolate to milk.
Maggie: "This is truly a disturbing universe."
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I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI
http://www.gonefiction.com
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI
http://www.gonefiction.com
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"Man, that saxophone would make a really great bong."
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"Krusty Burger is the official meat-flavored sandwich of the 1984 US Olympic Team."
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"Press any key to continue. Hmm, I see "Esk", "Ca-tarl" and "Pig Up"; there doesn't seem to be any "any" key.
I think I'll order a Tab. Oop, no time for that, the computer's starting."
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"Krusty Burger is the official meat-flavored sandwich of the 1984 US Olympic Team."
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"Press any key to continue. Hmm, I see "Esk", "Ca-tarl" and "Pig Up"; there doesn't seem to be any "any" key.
I think I'll order a Tab. Oop, no time for that, the computer's starting."
Last edited by triplemultiplex on Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Homer's car hits an animal statue...
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
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Homer (on Lisa's sax, to Beethoven's 5th): Sax-o-mo-phoooone, sax-o-mo-phooooooooone...
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
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Homer (on Lisa's sax, to Beethoven's 5th): Sax-o-mo-phoooone, sax-o-mo-phooooooooone...
Come see what I've been doing at:
http://angusmctavish.deviantart.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/IJustWatchEm71
AngusArt updated 4/9/17.
http://angusmctavish.deviantart.com
http://www.youtube.com/user/IJustWatchEm71
AngusArt updated 4/9/17.
Lady: Please be careful on my asphalt.
Homer: So then I said, "Kiss my asphalt." Mmm?
Homer: So then I said, "Kiss my asphalt." Mmm?
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I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI
http://www.gonefiction.com
I probably would have just put the f*cking lotion in the basket.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSD-Tk0Z3zI
http://www.gonefiction.com
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- Posts: 6148
- Joined: Mon Jan 31, 2005 5:24 am
Carl: "I hear we're going to Ape Island."
Lenny: "...to catch a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."
3rd co-worker: "What do they have there?"
Carl: "Apes. But they're not as big."
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"I think women and seamen don't mix"
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sign gag:
Nachos
Rifles
and
Alcohol
Meeting Tonight
Lenny: "...to catch a giant ape. I wish we were going to Candy Apple Island."
3rd co-worker: "What do they have there?"
Carl: "Apes. But they're not as big."
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"I think women and seamen don't mix"
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sign gag:
Nachos
Rifles
and
Alcohol
Meeting Tonight
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You read it! You can't unread it!
You read it! You can't unread it!
Rod: I've got the joy joy joy joy down in my heart!
Todd: Where?
Rod: Down in my heart to stay! And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack!
Todd: Ouch!
Rod: Sit on a tack!
Todd: Ouch!
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Todd: And please make her tell us a story. About two robots. Named Rod and Todd.
Lisa: Once upon a time, there was a robot, named Todd.
Todd: Did he have a brother?
Lisa: Yes. He had a brother named Rod, who was two space years older than him.
Todd: (Pulling up his blankets.) I don't like this story.
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Lisa: You're wrong! You're all wrong! The whole damned system is WRONG!
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Colonel Tex O'Hara: Look at all them stars. How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.
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Homer: This donut has purple. Purple is a fruit.
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"Yup, I seen her. That is to say, I saw her."
...
"Yup, I saw her. That is to say, I seen her."
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Bart: Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!
Homer: Young man, in this house, we use a little word called "please".
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Bart: Allowance! Ding ding ding ding ding.
Marge: You two don't deserve an allowance!
Lisa: Sure we do! Ding ding ding ding ding.
Bart and Lisa: Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!
Homer: Ice cream man, ice cream man!
Todd: Where?
Rod: Down in my heart to stay! And if the devil doesn't like it, he can sit on a tack!
Todd: Ouch!
Rod: Sit on a tack!
Todd: Ouch!
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Todd: And please make her tell us a story. About two robots. Named Rod and Todd.
Lisa: Once upon a time, there was a robot, named Todd.
Todd: Did he have a brother?
Lisa: Yes. He had a brother named Rod, who was two space years older than him.
Todd: (Pulling up his blankets.) I don't like this story.
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Lisa: You're wrong! You're all wrong! The whole damned system is WRONG!
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Colonel Tex O'Hara: Look at all them stars. How many do you think there are?
Homer: Two.
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Homer: This donut has purple. Purple is a fruit.
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"Yup, I seen her. That is to say, I saw her."
...
"Yup, I saw her. That is to say, I seen her."
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Bart: Buy me Bonestorm or go to hell!
Homer: Young man, in this house, we use a little word called "please".
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Bart: Allowance! Ding ding ding ding ding.
Marge: You two don't deserve an allowance!
Lisa: Sure we do! Ding ding ding ding ding.
Bart and Lisa: Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding!
Homer: Ice cream man, ice cream man!
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Eddie: "Alright, you're free to go."
Moe: "Good, 'because I got a hot date tonight."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "A date."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Dinner with a friend."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Dinner alone."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Alright! I'm gonna stay at home and ogle the girls in the Victoria's Secret catalogue."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "...Sears catalogue."
lie dectector: "Ding!"
Moe: "Now will you unhook this thing already?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!"
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Good, 'because I got a hot date tonight."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "A date."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Dinner with a friend."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Dinner alone."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "Alright! I'm gonna stay at home and ogle the girls in the Victoria's Secret catalogue."
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
Moe: "...Sears catalogue."
lie dectector: "Ding!"
Moe: "Now will you unhook this thing already?! I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!"
lie dectector: "Bzzzzt!"
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^^
Sorry, I beat you to it. Still a great quote, though.
"Okay, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game... ..... ...... ....... ......
Eh, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!"
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Mayor Quimby: "Are these teeth marks?"
Homer: "I thought there was chocolate inside."
(Quimby looks at Homer like he's an idiot.)
Homer: "Well then why was it wrapped in foil?"
Mayor Quimby: "It never was!"
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Real Estate Agent: "Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever did without it."
Homer: "Mmmm, hog fat..."
Sorry, I beat you to it. Still a great quote, though.
"Okay, John Q. Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game... ..... ...... ....... ......
Eh, the waiting game sucks. Let's play Hungry, Hungry Hippos!"
-------
Mayor Quimby: "Are these teeth marks?"
Homer: "I thought there was chocolate inside."
(Quimby looks at Homer like he's an idiot.)
Homer: "Well then why was it wrapped in foil?"
Mayor Quimby: "It never was!"
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Real Estate Agent: "Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever did without it."
Homer: "Mmmm, hog fat..."
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