Starship Rankings

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Starship Rankings

Postby Aimsireil » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:06 am

If the children of South Park were oddly put in a scenario where they are commanding a Star-Trek like starship, what ranks/titles do you think each of them would have? Here's what I think:

Stan- Captain (obviously)

Kyle- 1st Officer (almost as obvious)

Wendy- 2nd Officer/Navigation (so I don't appear sexist)

Cartman- Chief of Security (he's big, and he likes killing stuff)

Ike- Chief of Scientific Research (he's a genius)

Butters- Chief of Engineering (he ran a gas station once)

Red- Chief of Medical (because nobody else fits this job)

Tweek- Ship's Counselor (I think he would be good at it)

Kenny- Communications (do you get the joke?)

Token- Tactical Officer (he would probably work well on the bridge)

Clyde- Transporter Controller (for no reason)

Craig- Helmsman/Navigation

Annie- Helmsman/Navigation

Bebe- Security Officer

And all of those minor nameless character can have low-ranking jobs.

I was thinking of having Kenny in security, but I like it better this way.

And, hmm, it's probably a bad idea to have someone like Cartman as security chief... but I don't have time for that now.
Last edited by Aimsireil on Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ShaneHaughey » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:19 am

Captain- Stan. Being a good captain isn't just being smart and brave, it's about being able to listen and accept advice from all corners. He doesn't have a negative relationship with anybody.

First Officer- Wendy. Smart enough and can press the issue.

Second Officer- Kenny. We can assume he is smart and often the characters make some comment that indicates it as such.

Security- Kyle. Smart, quick, violent but also compassionate. He wouldn't kill without good cause but when given good cause will make it rather quick.

Scientific Research- Ike. Genius.

Chief of Engineering- Cartman. He is destined to work as a mechanic, so why the hell not?

Medical Officer- Bebe. I imagine her as good with the body.(God, that sounded like a sex joke.)

Counselor- Butters. Accepting of others and far more intelligent than he lets on.

Communications- Red. She'd do the job rather well.

Tactical- Token.

Transporter Controller- Clyde

Helsman/Navigation1&2- Tweek, Annie.

Security Officer- Craig
That's how it's down here on the farm!
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Postby Aimsireil » Fri Feb 23, 2007 9:38 am

You're probably right about Wendy, which actually reminds me of this:

But Kyle might get a little annoyed... Oh well, you were right on MSN when you said he would be responsible enough, Shane.

Cartman is a nice touch.

Yeah, I didn't think that having a psychopath as Chief of Security would work well. Good idea, Shane.

Why, yes, it almost did sound like you were making a joke with Bebe! How odd.

And nobody make a fanfic about this without asking me. I thought this idea up.

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