We see a tied up hamburglar, bloody and tired, in darkness with only one light above him.
Stranger:I'd speak up if I was you's...
Hamburglar:I-I told you! I don't know!
We see The King (Burger King) Emerge from the darkness, dressed in a mob outfit.
King:Listen, we can do this the easy way or the hard way, ya see?
Hamburglar:I'm telling you I don't know!
King:*sigh*Hit em' again.
One of the goons slaps Hamburglar with a damp hamburger patty.
Hamburglar:Alright! *sniff* I'll tell ya what I know....
Hamburglar:I've been told,that everything, future ideas, recipes, you name it, is stored in-
Just then the wall explodes and a gang of mobsters start killing all of King's goons.
King:You sonofabitch! You set me up!
Hamburglar:I didn't know, I DIDN'T KNO-HO-HO-OW!
King uses hamburglar as a shield and escapes. After all the dust and rubbel clears, Ronald McDonald walks in, also as a mobster. Ronald see's a bullet sprayed Hamburglar, lying dead on the floor.
Ronald:We're too late...Let's hope he didn't crack...
Now we cut back to the front of Cartman's house, and the 4 boys are playing with TransFormers. Liane comes out.
Liane:Are you and your friends hungry poopykins?
Cartman:Oh, uh, they're not, I am though.
Kyle:Actually dude, we're pretty hungry.
Cartman crosses his arms and gives Kyle a dirty look
Liane:Ok kids, get in the van, I'll grab my coat.
They get in the van.
Cartman *turns around from the front seat*:Kyle, tell me why should feed your jew ass?
Liane enters the van and Cartman turns back around. They all drive to Shaky's, only to find it has been closed down. Cartman runs out of the van and falls on his knees.
Cartman:Wha...Who....Who would do this?! Why?! WHYYYYYY!
Cartman:Don't f*cking tell me to chill!
Just then the owner of Shaky's walks out to lock up.
Cartman runs up to him.
Owner:Oh, well, McDonalds and Burger King have been comin' up with some pretty damn good stuff lately, and well, people just stopped comin' here...
Cartman:Sir...I will do...Whatever it takes to get this place opened...I swear to God I will!
Owner:Well, thanks kid, but I think this old place is about done...
Cartman:Not on my watch...
Cartman slips on his cop glasses.
--End Part 1--
Very funny! i loved it! keep writing more
Liane:Oh, I'm sorry boys. We could go to Whistln' Willie's?
Cartman gets up and walks to the van. They get to Whistlin' Willies and Cartman starts his plan.
Cartman:Guys, we gotta bring Shaky's back.
Stan:Dude, what's so special about Shaky's? I always thought their food sucked anyway.
Cartman:Dammit Stan you take that back! now!
Kyle:Actually, I kind of liked Shaky's...but how would we do it?
Cartman:Easy! We just gotta corrupt all the big name fast food restaraunts in town.
Kyle:How the hell do we do that?
Cartman:Whatever it takes. Mess with the food, make it so no one ever wants to eat there again! then they'll have no choice but to re-open Shaky's.
Stan:That seems like a whole lotta work dude.
Cartman:Just think about it Kyle...a double McShaky cheeseburger deluxe, side of hot steamy Shaky fries, and a nice cold Shaky Shake to wash it all down...
Stan: What's in it for me and Kenny, fatass?
Cartman: Well, for Kenny, I bet they would supply you with free food for helping them re-open...
Cartman: Thought so...As for you Stan...I just hope you won't feel lonely and left out, sitting at home, knowing the 3 of us will become town heroes...Owell..
The pizza arrives.
Stan: I'll do it. But not because of what you said. But I don't have anything better to do...
Cartman: Sweet. Ok. We'll discuss the plan in my basement. We don't want any taddle tales....
Cartman glares at Butters, who is sitting at the opposite side of the room. After the boys eat their pizza, Liane drives them home, where they go to the basement
Cartman:Alright gentlemen, If you'll have a seat right mhere.
Cartman pulls up a poster board of a map of all the fast food restaraunts.
Cartman:We start here, at McDonalds....
The boys listen to the plan, and get ready for that night. They're all standing outside of McDonald's.
Cartman: Ok, Kenny, you got the roaches and rats from your house?
Cartman:Stan, Kyle, you have the pubes and dirt?
Back at Stan's house.
Randy:Sharon...Sharon why did you shave my pubes....Sharon...
Back at McDonald's , the boys sneak in. Kenny releases the rats and roaches, while Stan and Kyle dump the pubes and dirt all over the food.
Cartman:Shh shh! There's someone in this room...
The boys all listen through the door.
Ronald:Listen, We can't assure your restaraunt's safety unless we get out weekly pay from you. Oh yeah? Try talking like that to me when you end up like Shaky's! *click*
Ronald:Wait, what was that?
Goon:I didn't hear nuttin boss.
Cartman:Aw sh*t let's go!
The boys start to run but the goon opens the door and grabs them.
--End Part 2--
Mr.Garrison: You go to Hell, You go to Hell and you die!
Fave ep: ESM Season 12,Sec fave: Butterballs Season 16
Favorite Character- Kyle
Favorite Episode- The List
Horrific, deplorable violence is okay, as long as people don't say any naughty words!
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