Kill the person above you

[Pip Tweek]

I have you assist me in a magic act where I saw you in half on stage - only it's not magic and the only trick is on you.

[Kelly MacCornmac]

I shall infuse my 9 volt battery with steel wool and make a fire to cook you on because I'm getting tired of all these short kills...I then take a stick and repeatily hit you, put the fire out. I then dig a hole in the sandy beach (while you are tied up of couse) I then put you in the hole and you try to break free, but the water forces the sand back and you slowly drown to death.

[AngusMcTavish]

I run you down with a cement truck and come to a complete stop once you're laying down right behind it. Then, I pour cement right on top of where you lay, insuring your demise.

[Pip Tweek]

I spray you with mace and then you fall over backwards into a casket which I promptly lock.

Then I have you buried alive.

[Thunderhorse]

I throw on a jet pack, grab you, fly high into the atmosphere, strap a time bomb to your chest, and drift safely back to Earth as I watch your burning bits plummet to the ground.

[polymorph]

The walls will be covered in blood that's all you need or want to know.

[AngusMcTavish]

As we all meet in a restaurant somewhere, I wait until you feel the need to use the restroom. I stay put and give you a minute or two once the door shuts. Then, I push the button and set off some C4 that blows up the toilet you're on.

As for how I'd know which toilet you'd use...I didn't, so I C4'd all of them and blew 'em all up, so if the blast didn't finish you, the flying chunks of porcelain will!

[BRMBug]

I lock you in a room (more like a basement really) with spiked walls that will crush you, and then scalding hot oil will come out of a spout and burn whatever is left of you. However due to a clerical error, the oil vat is filled with hot voil, so nevermind about that.

[Pip Tweek]

I build a giant, continuous outdoor staircase - that goes up about 20 floors. We go up to the top, I have you stand one step from the top. Then I spray you in the eyes with mace and give you a nice dose of chloroform which inevitably causes you to topple over backward and then the bumpy descent begins.

Then as you hit the bottom step, you land on a special platform and are immediately catapulted into a minefield.

[Thunderhorse]

I sneak up behind, Grab a nine inch knife, and impale you straight through the spine. I twist it around some & drag you by the knife to a meat grinder. You can imagine the rest.

[AngusMcTavish]

The shower you took last time, what you don't know is that I put in a frozen cube of acid that thawed and sprayed you when the water warmed it up. You will be feeling the effects pretty soon, and will be proverbially toast by the time you read this.

[Pip Tweek]

I hand you a wrapped present and say "this is for you" to which you reply "I'm not opening that! It's a trap" and then I say "No, it's a real present" and you say, if it's real then YOU open it!

And I go "alright, you chicken" and I open it. Then I say "you ruined the surprise, but I hope you like it" and it turns out to be your dog's head. Then I pull a rope which opens a trap door beneath you and you fall and get impaled on spikes and subsequently bleed to death.

[KennyKicksAss]

I'm in a party mood today so I stuff you fulla Es, take you clubbing and you die of dehydration. Or was it the poison I slipped in your drink? Who knows, but I'm running off with your wallet.

[Thunderhorse]

I place a time bomb in your house and place the correct tools and instructions to disarm it. All you have to do is take the wire clippers and cut the blue wire. Only problem is...I repainted the wires eachothers colors.

If you somehow manage to cut the correct wire, you won't escape the other time bomb I've hidden in your house.

[Pip Tweek]

I'm in a party mood today so I stuff you fulla Es, take you clubbing and you die of dehydration. Or was it the poison I slipped in your drink? Who knows, but I'm running off with your wallet.

I like your style

But now for Thunderhorse:

I throw a mechanical dart at you which lodges nicely into your skin and expands to place a calculated grip on your body.

Attached to the dart is a fine but extremely durable thread; the other end of which is attached to a giant and powerful centrifuge which, when activated causes you to be pulled by your skin up into the air and spun around at an ever-increasing pace until your innards break off from the pressure of the centrifugal force which sends you flying off several hundred feet in the air. As you're soaring off, bleeding profusely and bound for a terrible landing, I launch several heat-seeking missles to decimate you in mid air so your exploded remains fall gently to the ground like snowflakes.