Post a random Chuck Norris fact

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marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:15 am

Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
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AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:19 am

What would Chuck Norris do
If he was here right now?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Chuck Norris would do!
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Wed Feb 06, 2008 7:20 am

AngusMcTavish wrote:What would Chuck Norris do
If he was here right now?
I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two,
That's what Chuck Norris would do!


Oh damn! :D
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Pip Tweek
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Pip Tweek » Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:36 pm

marvel_freak_42 wrote:Chuck Norris can divide by zero.


I love that one.

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice!
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Thu Feb 07, 2008 4:55 am

Jesus walked on water... Chuck Norris walked on Jesus.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:07 am

Chuck also answers to "Boris Norris."

But not very well.
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:21 am

There is no "ctrl" key on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck is always in control.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Thu Feb 07, 2008 6:29 am

Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!
marvel_freak_42
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby marvel_freak_42 » Thu Feb 07, 2008 5:42 pm

AngusMcTavish wrote:Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!


Like Dick Cheney's his own branch?

Chuck Norris can't do pushups, because he doesn't push himself up, he pushes the Earth down.
Founder of the Western Orthodox Branch of the Church of Butters!

"The world will know peace when humanity is extinguished."
-- False Awakenings
Thunderhorse
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Thunderhorse » Thu Feb 07, 2008 10:35 pm

AngusMcTavish wrote:Chuck Norris for President!

Forget the Democrats. Forget the Republicans. He's his own party!


Contrary to popular belief, The government of the United States is not a Democracy, it's a Chucktatorship.
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Pip Tweek
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Pip Tweek » Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:12 am

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Thunderhorse
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Thunderhorse » Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:24 am

Some kids piss their names in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name in concrete.

Chuck Norris can make a Snowman with rain.

Some leading hand sanitizers claim to be able to kill %99.9 of germs. Chuck Norris can kill %100 of anything he wants to.
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Pip Tweek
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby Pip Tweek » Fri Feb 08, 2008 1:34 am

God created the Universe in six days. Chuck Norris created a larger, more complex universe in three days just to piss God off.
AngusMcTavish
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby AngusMcTavish » Fri Feb 08, 2008 3:32 am

Get crapped on by a bird? Give Chuck Norris a call, and he'll bring you back that bird, roasted the way you like it.
BRMBug
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Re: Post a random Chuck Norris fact

Postby BRMBug » Fri Feb 08, 2008 5:16 am

Chuck Norris doesn't need Burger King. He can have it his way anywhere he damn well pleases.

...Yeah, that seems slightly weak.


Oh, get this; I was sleeping yesterday with my clock radio tuned to The Ticket, and the Rangers had a press conference to announce that Nolan Ryan had been hired on as club president. Well, I dreamed that I was at a press conference for Chuck Norris, and the Board operator for the show carrying the press conference was there recording it using an old tape recorder. I was there trying to record it using a boombox, but I couldn't figure out how to use it, and kept turning on the radio. Everyone kept giving me dirty looks, and I was afraid that Chuck was going to leap over the podium and kick my ass for interrupting.

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