Herbert Garrison: Difference between revisions

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==About==
==About==
Mr. Garrison aka Herbert Garrison aka Ethan Garrison (pen name) aka Miss Garrison aka Janet Garrison aka Mr. Garrison again. He is the boys' school teacher, having taught them in both 3rd grade and 4th grade (after the unfortunate death of [[Diane Choksondik]]). As you can tell from the multiple personas above, Garrison is pretty sexually confused. He denied being gay until he came out of the closet ([[Fourth Grade]]), then embraced it with the help of his gay assistant Mr. Slave ([[The Death Camp of Tolerance]], 614)...only to then get a sex change operation ([[Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina]]), turn into a lesbian ([[D-Yikes!]]), and then get a sex change back to being a man ([[Eek, A Penis!]]). So yeah...
Herbert Garrison has always been one confused man, he’s struggled with his identity throughout his life. He started out as South Park Elementary’s third grade teacher, who really doesn’t do a whole lot of teaching. When Garrison was in the third grade, he lost a talent show to the television star, Kathie Lee Gifford, years later he held on to the grudge and attempted to murder her because of his hand puppet, Mr. Hat, telling him to. In the episode, [[Summer Sucks]], Garrison is upset he lost Mr. Hat, so he goes to a therapist. The therapist tells him that Mr. Hat was Garrison’s gay side trying to come out. Mr. Garrison denies his allegations because he believes he’s straight. When Garrison can’t find Mr. Hat, he turns to another puppet, Mr. Twig. Mr. Twig was killed by Mr. Hat, in Garrison’s screwed up little world, as a plan to get Garrison back to himself. In the episode [[Gnomes]], Garrison finds out he may be getting fired if the school board see he’s not teaching anything, Garrison threatens his students to write a report that makes him seem like a good teacher. Garrison is exposed to not being a good teacher at the end of the episode, but nothing happens to him. The school’s trip to Arkansas, makes Garrison visit his parents, and we get a little bit more of Garrison’s awkward behavior when he admits how upset he is that his father never molested him.


==Life Lessons==
==Life Lessons==

Revision as of 08:31, 23 June 2018

Herbert Garrison

Gender Male (Seasons 1 to 8; 13 - Present) Female (Seasons 9 to 12)
Age 41
Hair Color Gray
Occupation Teacher, President
Aliases Janet Garrison (as female) Ethan F. Garrison (penname)
Religion Roman Catholic, Atheist (briefly)
Father Mr. Garrison Senior
Mother Mrs. Garrison Senior
Voiced by Trey Parker
First Appearance Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

About

Herbert Garrison has always been one confused man, he’s struggled with his identity throughout his life. He started out as South Park Elementary’s third grade teacher, who really doesn’t do a whole lot of teaching. When Garrison was in the third grade, he lost a talent show to the television star, Kathie Lee Gifford, years later he held on to the grudge and attempted to murder her because of his hand puppet, Mr. Hat, telling him to. In the episode, Summer Sucks, Garrison is upset he lost Mr. Hat, so he goes to a therapist. The therapist tells him that Mr. Hat was Garrison’s gay side trying to come out. Mr. Garrison denies his allegations because he believes he’s straight. When Garrison can’t find Mr. Hat, he turns to another puppet, Mr. Twig. Mr. Twig was killed by Mr. Hat, in Garrison’s screwed up little world, as a plan to get Garrison back to himself. In the episode Gnomes, Garrison finds out he may be getting fired if the school board see he’s not teaching anything, Garrison threatens his students to write a report that makes him seem like a good teacher. Garrison is exposed to not being a good teacher at the end of the episode, but nothing happens to him. The school’s trip to Arkansas, makes Garrison visit his parents, and we get a little bit more of Garrison’s awkward behavior when he admits how upset he is that his father never molested him.

Life Lessons

  • "Remember: There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.”
  • "A Haiku is just like a normal American poem, except it doesn’t rhyme and it’s totally stupid.”
  • "The Hare Krishnas are totally gay.”

Memorable Quotes

  • "Did I say something to you sugartits!" (D-Yikes)

Alter Egos

<char name="President Garrison" image="http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/identities-policitcs-garrison-republican-nominee.png"/>

<char name="Dehydrated Garrison" image="http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/alter-ego-spooky-dehydrated-garrison-trump.png"/> <char name="President Garrison with Wig" image="http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/shared/characters/adults/us-politics-president-garrison.png"/>

Ex-Boyfriends

Ex-Girlfriend

Running Mate

Enemies

Family

Residence

Featured Episodes

Behind the Scenes

Herbert Garrison is voiced by series co-creator Trey Parker.

  • In the commentary track for "Weight Gain 4000", Trey talked about Garrison's role in the show: "He's the soap opera element to the whole series. [He] has a real story going on."
  • In the 8th draft of South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, Mr. Garrison is introduced as "MR. GARRISON, a forty-six year old teacher who is in denial about his homosexuality"

Bonus Factoids

never been married.

Myths & Legends