Conjoined Fetus Lady

Conjoined Fetus Lady

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Season	s02
Episode	e05
Written By	Trey Parker
Production Code	0205
Original Air Date	1998-06-03

Episode Chronology

• Previous
  Ike's Wee Wee
• Next
  The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

Story

Description

Pip, for once showing some backbone, pops Kyle in the face during a dodgeball game, giving him a bloody nose. Kyle is sent to see Nurse Gollum, who (he is horrified to discover) has a dead conjoined fetus on the side of her head. Apparently she suffers from something called Conjoined Twin Myslexia. The boys naturally make fun of her hideous condition. Kyle's mom overhears and tries to raise their consciousness, telling them that sometimes a dead twin can be inside a live one, and that any one of them might also have a dead, conjoined sibling somewhere in their bodies. Stan flips out, goes home and tries to hack open his head with an ice pick. Kyle's mom then decides to raise awareness of the problem and champions a "Conjoined Twin Myslexia Week," for the community's sole sufferer, who would greatly prefer to remain in relative anonymity. At the same time the school's dodgeball team wins the state championship -- primarily on the strength of Pip's performance, who becomes a rage-filled, superhuman dodgeball machine whenever anyone mistakes him for being French. Which seems to happen quite a bit. The team goes on to win the national championship, then takes on the international powerhouse, China. Pip single-handedly wipes out the entire Chinese squad when they, at the prompting of the South Park players, call him French. The kids become world champions, but no one cares because dodgeball sucks. Back in South Park the town stages a parade for Nurse Gollum. The locals don hats that make them look like they have fetuses on their heads. Nurse Gollum, her patience at an end, states that she just wants to be harassed and abused like everyone else. For this she's called "ungrateful."

What I Learned Today

"I have been obsessed, and obsession isn't good. If we had won the world championship, what then? It would only be a bigger letdown the next year if we didn't win! Our lives would have to revolve around dodgeball. Our lives were fine before!

Memorable Quotes

• "Oh. I see you've noticed my disorder. I have a stillborn fetus growth attached to my head." (Nurse Gollum)
• "My mom says there's a lot of black people in China." (Cartman)
• "This may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but you're all a bunch of freaks!" (Nurse Gollum)
• "Oh, what jolly good fun!" (Pip)

• "You shouldn't make fun of foreigners. And besides, I hate French people." (Pip)
• "You see, it's NOT okay to make fun of an American because they're black or brown or whatever, but it IS okay to make fun of foreigners because they're from another country." (Chef)

Characters

Character Debuts

Nurse Gollum. Also Butters is seen (but not heard) in this episode, where he is referred to as "Swanson." He won't get to talk until "Two Naked Guys In A Hot Tub". The black-haired kid Kevin (he's referred to as Casey in "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig") has his speaking debut.

Body Count

Kenny, killed by a dodgeball thrown with too much mustard during the match against China. Several other competing children fall under the gun of an angry, dodgeball-hurling Pip. Also a Washington, D.C. tourist run over by Ms. Crabtree's bus.

Original Songs

There's two little snippets of songs: Chef's "Whooped Yo Ass", which he sings after beating the Denver team, as well as the Neil Diamond-esque piano ballad "Dead Fetus on Your Head" which plays over the Nurse Gollum tribute video.

Pop Culture References

Shout Outs

Cartman's taunt, "So, Captain Ahab has to get his whale, huh?" is a Moby Dick reference skimmed from Star Trek: First Contact.

Pwn'd

When Kyle's mom shows the boys a picture of conjoined twins from a book called Freaks A-Z, it's really a picture of Mickey Dolenz and Michael Nesmith from The Monkees.

Bonus Factoids

Pointless Observations

The boys travel to their various dodgeball matches via Mrs. Crabtree's bus -- even to the one in China.

The Nurse's name "Gollum" is actually the name of the creepy, monster-like character from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. Also, "golem" is a Yiddish term referring to "an animate being created out of inanimate matter".

The newspaper Kyle's Dad is reading at breakfast has a section on it called "Priests & Kids".

Season 2

e1 Terrance and Phillip in Not Without My Anus

e2 Cartman's Mom Is Still a Dirty Slut

e3 Chickenlover

e4 Ike's Wee Wee

e5 Conjoined Fetus Lady

e6 The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

e7 City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)

e8 Summer Sucks

e9 Chef's Chocolate Salty Balls

e10 Chickenpox

e11 Roger Ebert Should Lay Off the Fatty Foods

e12 Clubhouses

e13 Cow Days

e14 Chef Aid

e12 Spookyfish

e13 Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!

e14 Gnomes

e15 Prehistoric Ice Man